Take A Look Through My Eyes

Mommy's Kitchen Recipes That Remind You Of Home

2011-07-29T18:15:00.003-06:00

I came across this Awesome site as I was looking for a potluck dish recipe for the Express The Moment Crop tommorrow. I already found several recipes I am dying to try for my family. Yum-O!!!
http://www.mommyskitchen.net/p/recipe-index.html

Looking For Inspiration

2011-07-28T14:30:00.003-06:00

I am always looking for inspiration. When I see pictures like these they inspire me. I love seeing pictures where it looks like the windows of Heaven are opened.

I love thinking about Jaxon & him being with Jesus. It gives me so much Peace. I have been thinking about him a lot lately, as I strive to be worthy to attend the Temple. His 12th Birthday is coming up. I can't believe that. He would be becoming a Deacon.

I Love to Read. I always have a stack of books on my nightstand. You can often find me reading several different books at a time. Ryan & I often read the same books. He has a lot more time to read then me & is always looking for a good book. I am reading Water For Elephants which is a great book, but not very Inspirational. So I kind of made up this little reward system for myself. When I read a book that is just for escape..then I have to read something Inspirational for 5 minutes before. It may sound silly but for me it helps me be in tune with the spirit & be more aware of things that aren't pleasing to our Father in Heaven. I have had so many people tell me how much they love Water For Elephants, But when I first started reading it I actually had to say a prayer & ask for forgiveness...it kind of is Riskee' as Ryan would say. It has a great story to it. I just wish their wasn't so much profanity. So anyway I found a great talk just for us Sisters. It encouraged me so much.
Your Happily Ever After

By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Here's the link if you would like to check it out. I highly recommend it.
http://lds.org/ensign/2010/05/your-happily-ever-after?lang=eng

One of the things that struck me pretty hard was "Trial Is Part of the Journey"

For a moment, think back about your favorite fairy tale. In that story the main character may be a princess or a peasant; she might be a mermaid or a milkmaid, a ruler or a servant. You will find one thing all have in common: they must overcome adversity.

Cinderella has to endure her wicked stepmother and evil stepsisters. She is compelled to suffer long hours of servitude and ridicule.

In “Beauty and the Beast,” Belle becomes a captive to a frightful-looking beast in order to save her father. She sacrifices her home and family, all she holds dear, to spend several months in the beast’s castle.

In the tale “Rumpelstiltskin,” a poor miller promises the king that his daughter can spin straw into gold. The king immediately sends for her and locks her in a room with a mound of straw and a spinning wheel. Later in the story she faces the danger of losing her firstborn child unless she can guess the name of the magical creature who helped her in this impossible task.

In each of these stories, Cinderella, Belle, and the miller’s daughter have to experience sadness and trial before they can reach their “happily ever after.” Think about it. Has there ever been a person who did not have to go through his or her own dark valley of temptation, trial, and sorrow?

Sandwiched between their “once upon a time” and “happily ever after,” they all had to experience great adversity. Why must all experience sadness and tragedy? Why could we not simply live in bliss and peace, each day filled with wonder, joy, and love?

The scriptures tell us there must be opposition in all things, for without it we could not discern the sweet from the bitter.2 Would the marathon runner feel the triumph of finishing the race had she not felt the pain of the hours of pushing against her limits? Would the pianist feel the joy of mastering an intricate sonata without the painstaking hours of practice?

In stories, as in life, adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy.

Stay True to What You Know Is Right

Sisters, young sisters, beloved young sisters, stay true to what you know is right. Everywhere you look today, you will find promises of happiness. Ads in magazines promise total bliss if you will only buy a certain outfit, shampoo, or makeup. Certain media productions glamorize those who embrace evil or who give in to base instincts. Often these same people are portrayed as models of success and accomplishment.

In a world where evil is portrayed as good and good as evil, sometimes it is difficult to know the truth. In some ways it is almost like Little Red Riding Hood’s dilemma: when you are not quite sure what you are seeing, is it a beloved grandmother or is it a dangerous wolf?

Another great talk I came across was....

Motherhood - The Master of Heaven and Earth is There to Bless You.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland on motherhood:

“When you have come to the Lord in meekness and lowliness of heart and, as one mother said, “pounded on the doors of heaven to ask for, to plead for, to demand guidance and wisdom and help for this wondrous task,” that door is thrown open to provide you the influence and the help of all eternity. Claim the promises of the Savior of the world. Ask for the healing balm of the Atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children. Know that in faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you.

You can’t possibly do this alone, but you do have help. The Master of Heaven and Earth is there to bless you—He who resolutely goes after the lost sheep, sweeps thoroughly to find the lost coin, waits everlastingly for the return of the prodigal son. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.” Jeffrey R. Holland, “‘Because She Is a Mother’,” Ensign, May 1997, 35

When Life's storms seem neverending...It brings me to my knees. I want my kids to know how much their Father & Mother both in Heaven & on Earth love them. There have been so many times that I have been prompted to really take Motherhood seriously. I talk to the kids everyday about values & the importance of not letting Satan in. When the kids are arguing or nit picking each other I will tell them that when there is contention & negativity they are inviting Satan into our home & into their lives. They don't like that. They always want the Loving Spirit Of God with them...So do I.

"The world can at times be a frightening place in which to live. The moral fabric of society seems to be unraveling at an alarming speed. None—whether young or old or in-between—is exempt from exposure to those things which have the potential to drag us down and destroy us. Our youth, our precious youth, in particular, face temptations we can scarcely comprehend. The adversary and his hosts seem to be working nonstop to cause our downfall.

"We are waging a war with sin, my brothers and sisters, but we need not despair. It is a war we can and will win. Our Father in Heaven has given us the tools we need in order to do so. He is at the helm. We have nothing to fear. He is the God of light. He is the God of hope. I testify that He loves us—each one."
by : Thomas S. Monson

I know there is No Greater Call then that of being a Kind,Patient & Loving Mother. There is also No Greater Blessing.

Fran C. Hafen has captured in words the very thoughts and emotions of a grieving mother's heart and mind. She skillfully describes the grieving process through her own experience — stages like shock and anger — and illustrates that it is natural and appropriate. She is bold enough to share her most intimate thoughts regarding the gospel of Jesus Christ, and her probing questions about it, all while maintaining her steadfast testimony in it. In the end, Hafen shows that through the evolution of time all will be well.

As one reviewer said, "It is one of the most meaningful gifts that can be given following the loss of a child — because it hurts, and it hurts for a long time — but the book provides the hope of healing, and eventually joy."

Quite awhile ago My sweet Mother-in-law gave me this book. It took me several moths to get through it. It was an extremely hard thing for me to take the time & grieve over the loss of Jaxon. It is something I deal with on an hourly basis. This book took me to a very raw & emotional place. I loved reading it & hearing what the Author had to share. It was just extremely difficult. She helped me heal a lot of emotions that were buried alive.

What is the difference between selfishness and depression? Immoral behavior and same-gender attraction? According to psychologist Wendy Ulrich, the difference is that the former are sins, while the latter are merely weaknesses.

In Weakness Is Not Sin: The Liberating Distinction That Awakens Our Strengths, Dr. Wendy Ulrich poses the question: How often do we respond to weaknesses with impatience and guilt, mistaking human fallibility for sin? Ulrich explains that human weaknesses can either lead to sin, or to greater strength through the grace of God — but weakness itself is a morally neutral concept, separate and distinct from sin.

How often I have found myself feeling guilty for suffering from depression or anger. I try so hard to be patient. There are just some days when my patience is worn so thin, it doesn't take much for me to completely loose my temper. She talks about how we all suffer from human weakness & it isn't a sin. We must learn to not give into that weakness. Alot of the time with physical & mental illness there is regret & darkness that is often debilitating. I have learned that I must read at least 15 min. a day of something positive. Positivity is Satan's Kryptonite!!! He hates it... So I Love it. It is such a AMAZING blessing that when we repent...I mean truly repent we can be clean.

With keen doctrinal and professional insights, Ulrich helps us understand that sin and weakness have different origins, lead to different consequences, and call for different responses. Understanding the liberating distinction between weaknesses and sin sets us free to feel worthy and find true joy in our redemption. As we understand this important principle, we can learn to focus on strengths, and not despair over that which we cannot change.

Ryan & I have always felt it is critical that the kids have a good sense of self worth & self esteem. We try really hard to build them up...we want them to be humble, but know how unique they are. I worry about them & their safety. I am always telling them...there is only One Jacob Or One Marli or One Conor...I can't get another one. I want them to know they are priceless.

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. ~Robert Fulghum

If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others. ~Haim Ginott

I was listening to Glenn Beck's radio program the other day...which I normally don't do, but was driving Ryan's truck & he has xmsatelite radio. (He loves talk radio, which sort of drives me bonkers) Anyway so he had Chris Stewart who is the Author of the new book The Miracle of Freedom: 7 Tipping Points that Saved the World. I decided to order the book. I know Ryan will enjoy it. He is so Partiotic. I love that about him. He has always instilled this value in our kids. Who knows I may even learn something. This is what made me decide to order it.....

"How unusual is it, really, in the history of all known human experience, to enjoy the blessing of living free?"

The answer may surprise you. In The Miracle of Freedom, Chris and Ted Stewart make a strong case that fewer than 5 percent of all people who have ever lived on the earth have lived under conditions that we could consider “free.” So where did freedom come from, and how are we fortunate enough to experience it in our day?

“A deeper look at the human record,” write the authors, “reveals a series of critical events, obvious forks in the road leading to very different outcomes, that resulted in this extraordinary period in which we live.” They identify and discuss seven decisive tipping points:
1. The defeat of the Assyrians in their quest to destroy the kingdom of Judah
2. The victory of the Greeks over the Persians at Thermopylae and Salamis
3. Roman Emperor Constantine’s conversion to Christianity
4. The defeat of the armies of Islam at Poitiers
5. The failure of the Mongols in their effort to conquer Europe
6. The discovery of the New World
7. The Battle of Britain in World War II

The journey to freedom has been thousands of years long. Now that it has found its place in the world, the question for those of us who experience its benefits is simply this: Will we work to preserve the miracle of freedom that we enjoy today?

"The family is a creation of the Almighty. It represents the most sacred of all relationships. It represents the most serious of all undertakings. It is the fundamental organization of society."
Gordon B. Hinckley - 2005 Apr. Gen. Conf.

“These precious children of God come to us with believing hearts. They are full of faith and receptive to feelings of the Spirit. They exemplify humility, obedience, and love. They are often the first to love and the first to forgive… Have some of life’s experiences taken from you the believing heart and childlike faith you once had? If so, look around at the children in your life. And then look again. They may be children in your family, [or] across the street… If we have a heart to learn and a willingness to follow the example of children, their divine attributes can hold a key to unlocking our own spiritual growth.” (Jean A. Stevens, Become as a Little Child, April 2011)

We are so blessed to have so many incredible leaders in the church to look to for guidance. I am grateful all I have to do is pick up the Ensign & read a talk & I instantly am inspired!

I came across this quote & it struck a chord in me. Ryan & I been trusted with these beautiful children. What a huge responsibility & gift. We are given Families so we are never alone. I Love my Family dearly & would do anything for them. I pray daily that I may do better & be an example to them.

"I promise each of you, as you follow inspired direction in this, the true Church of Jesus Christ, that our youth and we who help and love them can be delivered safely to our home with Heavenly Father and the Savior to live in families and in joy forever."
by : Henry B. Eyring

Getting It All Done

2011-07-26T16:15:00.004-06:00

I often find myself trying to think up new & improved ways to Get everything done... like all that is expected of me. Somehow as a Mom we think we have to be Super Mom. Then in May I was called as Our Ward's Compassionate Service Leader. We had just gotten a new Relief Society Presidency. My dear friend Kristy Bialas was called as The R.S. Pres.I LOVE her dearly. She & I were V.T. partners through one of the Hardest times in my Life. She is an Incredible Pillar of Strength & Faith to me. I would do anything for her. I have learned & grown so much from her. I gladly accepted the new calling. However.... I wasn't released from my Sunbeam calling. Ryan had just barely agreed to be my Sunbeam partner. Which was an Amazing Miracle. I Love my Primary Class. How could I Not? My sweet little Conman is in my class. It has been so much Fun watching him grow & develop. He has been coming out of his super shy shell. He is going to Mrs. Di's pre-school in the Fall. So I have had my fingers crossed that he would mature & not be so shy. I have been a Junior Primary Teacher for Four years. It was a Blessing to be in Jr. Primary with Jakey & Marli. I Loved being able to sit across the room & watch them with their classes. It was nice after church we would talk about sharing time & what their Fave songs are & what they liked about Primary. Then Jacob turned 7 & moved up to Sr. Primary & my heart ached not seeing him. Then Marli turned 7 & moved on. I started out in CTR 5 & then went to Sunbeams & stayed with that class every time they moved up for three years. So when they moved me to The Sunbeam class I was pretty excited.Low & behold Conor is in my class. He has been such a ray of sunshine to our family. I Love that he always wants to sit next to me & smiles at me. So anyway with the added stress of the new calling I really felt like there really was just NO WAY I could get everything done. I found myself completelty overwhelmed...I decided I just needed to get down on my knees & pray & I mean pray a lot & way more often. Satan was seriously working over time on me. I was being tried in every possible way & in every aspect of Life. When I was about to loose my Sanity...I had a huge paradigm shift & realized that I don't have to do it all alone. It's OK to ask for help. I got the Food Nanny cookbook for my birthday. It has so many great ideas. Then I came across her show on BYU t.v. I have DVR'd a few of the episodes. She encourages me to make the most of meal time. She has a cool website as well. http://thefoodnanny.org/ I have always felt it's critical to eat meals as a family. It has been a goal for Ryan & I our entire marriage. I believe families that eat together are strengthened. I am so grateful there are so many places I can find encouragement & ideas to help me Get It all done.

So a couple things I have done in the last week that have helped out a ton are....
1) Getting up Way Earlier...It's AMAZING what I have gotten done by getting up when Ryan does.
2) Exercising 1st thing in the morning...Get it out of the way & No Guilt for the rest of the day
3) Making several dinners at a time & freezing them

Today I made stuffed shells,lasagna & sloppy joes. I have dinners in the freezer as well as know what we are having for the rest of the week. I am going to do Mexican next. A friend told me she has this amazing crock pot chicken enchilada filling recipe that literally fills up her crock pot. She can make several different dishes with it.I have been trying a lot of different recipes & am pretty excited.

Teacher Jessy

2011-07-20T07:03:00.001-06:00

Today as I was seaching The "www" I found a really cool blog. I am looking forward to making this notecard. I am so grateful there are so many talented people in the world that share there ideas with the rest of us. I can usually duplicate any project...but often struggle with coming up with unique ideas. I am totally stoked about checking out more projects this talented gal has on her blog.

I Love The Colors Of This Card....looking at it...it just puts a smile on my face. Think I'm gonna have to try this one too! Take a look for yourslef http://teacherjessy.blogspot.com/

Tasty Kitchen...Yum

2011-07-06T12:05:00.000-06:00

I Think I Just Found My One True Love...Well Maybe in the Recipe Department Any Way. I stumbled across this Amazing site called "Tasty Kitchen Favorite Recipes From Kitchens Everywhere". I am so excited to use this site. I thought it would be Fun to pass this along.

They Have A Blog & Recipes For Every Holiday & Basically Anything You Could Dream Of! Yum-O...Enjoy!!!

Telemarketers & Customer Service Reps.

2011-03-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

So this guy calls & ask for Ryan Smith. I disguised my voice & said this is him. He says Mr. Ryan Smith. I said Yep. He says this doesn't sound like a Mister. I say WHAT You call my house & ask for me & you Sayy I don't sound like me??? He was like Uh...hold the line. So he plays me this audio clip about Obama & how he isn't a US citizen & he is a illegal alien & this committee is out to get him. So this lady gets on the phone & says Miss...what did you think of that? I said Are you going to Impeach him or what? She starts laughing her head off. Then she asks me for a donation of $500. I say I would Love to help you..but the gas prices are outrageous & I can't afford anything. She precedes to tell me a story about having to take this 2nd job because she went to put gas in her van & couldn't fill it up. So then she asks me for a smaller donation. I tell her our country is going to Hell in a hand basket & I don't have a dime. She laughs hysterically & thanks me for making her week. So there you have it. We don't need to be RUDE to telemarketers or hang up on them we can have a good time with them!!!

I got a bill in the mail on a account we had never opened. When I called on it the customer service person told me my name wasn't on the account & that she could only talk to Ryan....f You Tell Me You Can Only Speak to Mr. Smith about My Account...You Know I am Just Going To Put A Towel over the phone & call back & disguise my Voice!!! She politely tells me that she wished she could help me, but because of Hippa regulations she can only speak to Mr. Smith. So I get a towel & cover the receiver & called back. When asked my name I said Ryan Smith. The guy snickered. I was able to get the account closed & resolved. Seriously if I have to stoop to their level I guess I will or at least my Alias Mr. Ryan Smith will.

The Most Beautiful

2011-02-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

I saw this quote on My Dear Friend Melody's Facebook Wall & Wanted to Capture the way it made me feel. I am so grateful for her. I am working on week # 5 of Soul Restoration & am in Awe at how much my Life has changed in the last Month. I feel like a completely new person. I am healing & forgiving & Not letting people effect me like I used to. I am forever indebted to Melody for putting together this amazing program. I Love her dearly!
She is So Beautiful on the inside & out. She has the Light of Christ shinning so brightly throughout her. Here is a Gorgeous Picture of her, Her oldest daughter Malary & Melody's sister Kathy. Kathy is so talented. She has the voice of an angel. When she plays the guitar & sings it is exactly like what I picture heaven to be. I Love these three girls so much!

"

Chris Rice - Go light your world

2011-02-16T17:18:00.000-07:00

Bad Blogger

2010-12-30T10:33:00.000-07:00

I was watching a home movie of the kids Ry took when I was at work. Conor was three months old & the kids were so tiny. I know how important it is for me to document what they say & do so I never forget. I just am not very good at staying up on a journal & keeping this blog updated. I know I need to do better. Here are a few things the kids are doing now....

Marli with her Daddy...she is so much like Ry & they often don't see eye to eye...but she is definitely a Daddy's girl!

We love to go to Smitty's for any meal. It's one of our fave places.

Miss Marli is growing up way to fast for me. She is my biggest helper. She loves to do anything crafty. She'll ask me if she can make something & then hours later she'll show me all her creations. I am so grateful she's my daughter. She loves school & has more friends than days of the week. So we often have a house full of little girls. She is taking clogging & absolutely loves it. She practices 15 min a day without being told to.

You can always find Mister Jacob dressed up in some costume...but mostly in his lounge wear...aka p.j.'s. Jacob is a great student & takes school very seriously. He's enjoying 2nd grade. He loves to read & play Mario anything on the Wii or Ds. He is my B/f/f I love listening to his elaborate stories. He likes to sleep with me when Ry is nigh shift. On Mondays I dvr the show castle & then Jakey & I watch it when he sleeps with me. It's our little date. Jacob was baptized Nov. 6th. he loves primary & Reading the scriptures. He keeps us on the straight & narrow. He loves to conduct FHE. Jacob hasn't missed a scout meeting since he started in Sept. He is working hard at earning his Boy Scout badges. Ry & him are going to make his 1st pinewood derby car this weekend.

Conor is at such a Fun age. He made Christmas SO FUN! After he opened each gift he told us Thank You & he Loved it. He's been wearing Big Boy underwear & has been doing really good with not having any accidents. We still put a pull up on him at night just in case. We ordered him a big boy bed like brother Jacob's. Unfortunately it won't be here for a couple more weeks. I painted his room & we took down his crib. It was hard taking the crib to my parents to store. We have had a crib up for over ten years. Conor loves his room. The kids take turns sleeping with him. He loves Jakey & Marli & having sleep overs in their rooms. He calls my parents B-Pa & B-Ma. They think it's pretty cute. He's getting more out going everyday. He enjoys going to the kids school with me when I volunteer. He gives their teachers hugs & tells them thank you for letting him come to class. I'm so grateful we have him in our family. He brings us a lot of laughs & good times.

Happy Birthday Jax!!!

2010-08-21T01:10:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to my little man! Ryan & I were talking today about how this was the BEST time in our lives. We waited 5 LONG years to get our little man. He was more beautiful than we could have ever dreamed of. It's so amazing to me how much I instantly LOVED him.

I came across this wind charm & ordered it for Jaxon's Birthday. We're going to go get Red & Purple balloons & take this & the balloons up to the cemetery today!

When I think of Heaven & I think of Jaxon this is what I picture! I think he'll have his beautiful bald hair at first so I can rub it & hug him so tight....then I picture his hair will be back exactly how it was before the cancer. I miss my BEST friend so much. I seriously can't believe he would be 11. It seems like a moment ago I was Pregnant with him & waiting patiently for his arrival. In this picture I am about to have Jacob. I'm so grateful Jaxon wanted a brother because Jakey & I have such an amazing relationship & he always makes me FEEL so incredibly close to Jaxon. Then for Jacob to pray & pray & pray faithfully for a brother & for us to be blessed with Conor is such a blessing. I see so many similarities in Conor & Jaxon. I have caught myself in complete AWE lately watching Conor grow & his personality is a lot like Jaxon's. It's bittersweet! In three months Conor will be exactly the same age as Jax was when he graduated from this life onto Bigger & Better things. I find myself not wanting to be away from my kids & I worry that I suffocate them sometimes. I don't want them to grow up & think their friends are more important than family. School starts in a week & I am really dreading it. We have had such a FUN summer. I am so grateful Jaxon was our first born & he will always be what keeps me going! I want to be with him forever! I love you so very much sweet boy!

I smile every time I think of this little man. I often find myself wishing for a lot of things...Mostly I wish for more time with him & I wish I had digital pictures of him.....LOTS & lots of pictures of him.

Air Show & Update

2010-07-26T11:24:00.000-06:00

We had a really fun weekend as a family. We have been watching all the planes practicing all week. It's been pretty cool to just go in the back yard or front yard & see these amazing pilots do some pretty insane tricks. Friday we took Ryan's truck over to the North Soccer field parking lot & left it. We had the truck all packed & ready for the airshow Saturday morning. We went to dinner at The Outback. Saturday Ry & Jake rode the Harley over to the truck. I put Conor in the stroller Loaded up with the cooler & Marli & I walked over there. Our neighborhood was completely invaded with A LOT of people. We took multiple trips back to the house for potty breaks & different things. I NEVER get sunburned...well Never until being out in the HOT Sun all day with No shade. I really got fried. I put sunscreen on everyone...except myself. Right before the Blue Angels performed Marli & I ran home to make sandwiches & I noticed I was burned. i put sunscreen on at the house. Too little too late I'm afraid. O'well it was so worth it. I think Ryan enjoyed it the most. The kids used Ry's ear muff things that he uses when he goes shooting. Conor thought that was so cool wearing daddy's ear plugs. We were prepared NOT to leave the house because of traffic so we had Papa Murphy's take & bake for dinner. I was exhausted & felt sick from the Sunburn. I called my Friend Sydney & asked her to sub my Primary class. I took it easy most of the day. Then we went outside right before the Blue Angels were going to perform & watched it in the SHADE in the back or Ry's truck. I made a pretty incredible dinner for my family. I made Chicken with apple stuffing, Green Beans & Yukon mashed potatoes. Ry & the kids LOVED it.

My Awesome brother Brandon has been taking Jacob Golfing. Jake Loves it. Brandon was in Utah working & he was out selling meat...he sold a bunch to a lady who was having a yard sale. He picked up a junior golf club set for $5.00. They are practically brand new. Jake was so stoked. I'm so grateful that Brandon moved home from Cour D' Alene to be here with us.

Our stake is having a Stake Primary activity today. They asked every family to do a scavenger hunt in our homes & gather things for a BIG project. They are donating things to The Haven Shelter & a few other places. Ry & I worked really hard gathering things. I feel really good that we DE-cluttered our closets & house & have some great stuff to donate. My mom took the kids to the activity & went back & picked them up. She's such a GOOD grandma.

I had a 3 hour doctor appointment on Friday to have blood test done. I had to go in fasting for the Insulin resistance test. I took a book, but never got to read it. The office manager & I sat & visited almost the entire time. I was sitting next to this cranky pregnant women. She fell asleep...SOUND asleep. She was snoring & drooling. When the nurse came in to draw her blood it startled her & she SNORTED super loud. The nurse & I looked at each other & both busted up laughing. I have my follow up tomorrow to find out the results. I've been having some health issues & my depression has gotten pretty bad again. So my doctor wanted a full blood panel. I'm looking forward to my hair appointment tonight. Hopefully a new haircut & color will improve my attitude.

The Jacob & Marli are finally done with Pitching machine baseball. They learned a lot & enjoyed playing this year. Jacob has been playing with a lot of different kids & I've had to give him a little bit of freedom. It was really hard the first time his friend asked if Jacob could ride his scooter a little further than what I've been letting him. He took his watch with him & was really good about checking in. I sure miss the days when I was their only friend! Man it's hard letting my babies grow up.

Relief Society/Visiting Teaching

2010-07-09T01:13:00.000-06:00

My Beautiful Mother-in-law was asked to talk in Church this coming Sunday. She emailed me & asked me to help share any experiences I have had with Visiting Teaching. I thought I should share what I came up with so i can reflect back on these sacred experiences.

I have always had a strong testimony of VT. When I first joined the church I adored my R.s. she teamed me up with a lady Karen Clark. We became really close friends over the next couple years. We both worked & it was challenging at times to find a time when we could go visit our three ladies. We had plenty of opportunities to serve the ladies we went visiting to. I always knew that if I needed anything I could rely on the ladies in my ward as well. It was hard being a new member & Karen was always a great example to me. We are still great friends after all these years. I loved living in Shelley. The people that lived in our ward were mostly farmers. The ladies taught me so much about being a example of Christ & I admired them so much. I knew when I had children I would try to implement the qualities I saw in them that were wonderful into my life.

We moved from Shelley to Ammon & I was nervous about not having those women to lean on. There is something amazing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ...no matter where you live the R.S. is there & it is the same. I soon fell in love with my R.S. president Brenda Johnson. She gave me the most incredible blessing...she gave me Nancy Lords as my V.T. Nancy was so faithful in this calling. She NEVER missed a month. Our son Jaxon became very ill & Nancy was there through the entire Journey. When we found had to take Jaxon to SLC to Primary Children's Nancy came over the night before & prayed with us. She knew how much Jaxon Loved Barney & she let us borrow all of her families barney movies. She made Jaxon a barney pillow & blanket. We were in SLC a lot over the next 10 months. Whenever I would be home for a short time she would run over & check on me. She kept in touch via phone calls & would keep everyone posted on us. She made it so I could focus on taking care of Jax & not have to worry on returning everyone phone calls. She went above & beyond the call of a V.T. She became part of our family. Her & her daughter did a fundraiser to help us with the enormous cost of Jaxon's medical care. They made quilts & auctioned them off...they sold soda & hot dogs in front of Westmark credit union where her husband worked. When Jaxon completed his care after 10 months we were able to bring him home. She brought him over a Barney shirt & coloring book. She was always thinking about us. When we found out his cancer came back she came over & was as heartbroken as we were. Nancy was always the strongest lady I knew. She had a testimony that made me want to be better & to do better. When our sweet little boy Jax passed away..Nancy did something for us that No one else could have. She wrote the most incredible poem. When she gave it to me, she told me she had help from the other side & was inspired to write it. She said she felt like Jaxon was there with her as she wrote it. I will forever remember the time I had Nancy as my V.T. She helped our family through the most difficult time.

When we moved to the Westside I again was blessed with amazing women who came visiting teaching to me. They helped me get to church when Ryan was gone for 6 months for his job. I had Jakey that was 1 & a new baby girl Marli. It would have been very easy for me to become inactive. These incredible ladies made me feel like I was needed & made me feel accountable for coming to church each week. Our ward was split 4 times in 5 years. I had a hard time with getting to know the ladies & loving them & then them being in the other wards. I was blessed with the most incredible V.T. partner Kristi Bialas. She knew I was struggling she knew how hard it was for me to go on living after loosing my whole world (Jaxon). She lent me her testimony & strength to bear my burdens. Every month we went V.T. to three ladies. She would not let us miss one month. She would ask me really hard questions in front of the ladies we would go visit. She helped heal my broken heart. She was inspired so many times to reach out. She would show up on days when I barely could get out of bed because I was so depressed. She became my sister. She brought us treats & meals. Kristi was the Nursery leader & helped Marli feel comfortable. Marli would take her favorite blanket to church & go in Nursery ready for a nap. Kristi would make her a safe place in the other room to take her nap. Later on we served as our ward compassionate leaders together. I learned so much from her. It was an honor serving with her. I know our Heavenly Father has given us R.S. & V.T. to bless us in multiple ways. We are asked to serve our fellow man,but in return the blessing we are given by doing so are far greater than our efforts. Our R.S. president can't do it all alone. Nor can she be everywhere. She needs us sisters. The V.T. program is critical to making R.S. work at its best. I am so grateful for the women I have met through the Church. I feel I am a better Wife/Mother because of these amazing women!

I Love you Lyn (My Amazing M-I-L)& am so grateful I have ALWAYS had you to look to for inspiration. I hope this will help you with your talk. I know it's going to be great! I only wish I could be there to listen to it & be inspired.

I love how much a group of ladies can help so many in need. Every humanitarian project, Every quilt, Every meal is made with LOVE! We are so blessed to be part of such an amazing organization!

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Mothers Who Know

2010-07-09T01:03:00.000-06:00

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Mothers Who Know

I came across this article today & found it was exactly what my soul needed to hear. Thought I would pass it along.

A Mouse

2010-07-08T11:49:00.000-06:00

Last Night I was trying to get my cards made for card club. Jacob was in my craft room with me playing a game on the computer. Marli & Conor were playing in her room. I kept thinking I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I was really tired & icnored it. Then all of a sudden Jacob screamed " There's a mouse on the window"!!! I looked over & sure enough there was a mouse climbing on the outside window. I screamed!!! The mouse heard me & took off running back up the window...then it fell down right in front of me. Ryan came running in. Soon everyone was in my scrap room. Marli was right up on the table looking at it. She said "OH its kind of cute"!!! Ry went outside to take care of it. I was so freaked out. I HATE mice! I can handle just about anything, but mice & snakes. GROSS!!! GROSS!!! GROSS!!! So we soon saw a pole coming down the window well. Ry was yelling at me to close the blinds so the kids wouldn't see what was about to happen. I didn't even want to close the blinds...I didn't want to get near the window. I managed to go over & close the blinds. I didn't want to be in that room. I didn't get my cards made Dadnabit!!! Ry came back inside awhile later. Conor ran up to him & said "Did you get it daddy"??? Ry smiled & said Yeah I took care of it. Apparently he had to get out the BB gun & take care of it. Then he had to climb down in the window well & dispose of the nasty little critter. Ry was nightshift & getting ready to head out the door when all this excitement happened. I was positive I was going to have NIGHTMARES. Thankfully Jacob slept with me & I took a ambien & got a great night sleep with NO Mouse mares! Thanks Hunny for taking care of this!

Mr. Conor James

2010-07-05T17:10:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to jot down a couple things about Mr. Conor...Lately he has been my shadow. If he sees me getting on my shoes he gets excited & says "Don't leave me I go with you". He doesn't like it if I'm trying to hurry. He likes to play with my hair. He tells me he Loves me & that I'm pretty. When he gets in trouble he says "Mommy Your pretty but your mean". If Jakey or Marli does something he doesn't like he comes & tells me they're mean. He doesn't back down to anyone. He Loves to get his favorite blanket & come lay with me on my bed & watch t.v. He'll giggle & tell me he's on daddy's side. He's such a sweet little boy. I am so grateful for him. I went through so much to get him here & it was all worth it. I Love You Conor James!!! He Loves to be outside. He always has one of the kids baseball mitts on. He tells me to give his mitt High Five. He Loves to play catch & try to hit the ball. He seriously thinks he's as Big as the other kids. I wish I could freeze time right now. He is so much Fun!

July 8th,2010
Conor saw that Jacob has a wallet & He REALLY wanted one too. Jakey went in his room & found a Lightning McQueen wallet for his little brother. Conor was SO excited. He opened the wallet & said "I NEED MONEY". We all laughed so hard. I didn't want him touching money or loosing it. So I went & got some monopoly like money out of our Buzz Light year Operation game. I let him pick what he wanted he picked a Buzz $100.00 & a Buzz $500.00. He walks around the house showing everyone his money. He sits & counts it One hundred, five hundred. He insisted on sleeping with his wallet. When I got him out of his crib he said look Mommy One hundred dollars. I'm thankful he's happy with his Buzz money.

Wanted!!!

2010-06-28T15:26:00.000-06:00

I have been seeing Dragonflies when I really need a reminder of just how close Jaxon is. I have been having such a hard time lately & Miss him so much. I LOVE this red one it really makes me smile. My favorite color is red & Jax would say his was red too!

So I have been thinking I really need a Ghost writer to post what's going on in our lives to this BLOG! I just do not have the time or Patience. So Wanted one ghost writer...I bought a lap top a couple months back & thought this will be perfect for updating our blog. Hasn't happened yet! Apparently I need to go to bed a hour earlier & get up a hour earlier...then I'll have time to do what I want. yeah Right!

I am reading a really good book that my Mother-in-Law let me borrow. I have bawled & bawled reading this book. It is helping me so much!

The kids have been playing pitching machine. They are on my good friend Kristi Bialas's team. Their team is The Chuckars. The kids have really been practicing & have improved a lot. It's fun to see them grow & interact with kids that go to a different school (West side).
Conor has been growing up so much over the last couple of months. He repeats everything we say. When the kids are fighting he tells them to be nice or to shut their mouths. Probably hears Ryan saying that. He LOVES to be outside. He is in love with his red Fred Flinstone like car. He drives it all over the place. He's getting more confident jumping on the big trampoline in our backyard. He follows Marli every where. She jokes that he is her shadow.

We have been spending every minute possible playing with the kids & enjoying our time together. the weather has finally warmed up & we are loving being outside. We took the kids to Toy Story 3 in 3D. They all loved it. We debated on taking Conor or not. The last movie we took him to was Alvin & the Chipmunks The Squeak-quel. He was horrible. I told him I wouldn't take him to another movie until he was 5. Well the kids have been watching Toy Story & Toy Story 2. He sat and watched all of them. I talked to him about going to the movie. He REALLY wanted to go. he surprised us all when he sat & watched the whole movie. He got a little restless at the end & sat on my lap with his favorite blanket. Which Ryan noticed the other day was starting to fall apart. I made it for Jacob when he was a baby. It's a Winnie the pooh blanket. Jacob never really was attached to it. When Conor was tiny he fell in love with that blanket & has slept with it & carried it around ever since. I was able to sew it back together & hopefully it'll last several more years. I took Jacob & Marli to Sam's club a few weeks ago. They had Woody & Jesse & Buzz dolls. The kids each picked out one. They are really nice ones. I remember looking everywhere for something like that when Jaxon was little he Loved Toy Story & Toy Story 2. The Woody & Jesse came with the horse Bulls eye. Last night Conor begged Jakey to let him sleep with woody. Jacob let him & when we went in to get him out of his crib today, he told Jacob thank you for letting him sleep with woody.

Ry had a doctor appointment today. Looks like he's doing well. The kids & I were happy he was able to go to their baseball game. We're planning vacation July 9th-14th. We traded our Island Park timeshare for one in Park City. Should be Fun. We're gonna try to fit in Lagoon, Hoggle Zoo, Rodizio's Brazilian restaurant with school shopping.

I need to remember to keep my chin up & be of Good Cheer! I have been struggling with the day to day stuff. I realized yesterday that our family has been blessed with so many blessings. I feel our prayers have been heard. I'm grateful that Ryan has been going to church with us. Jacob & I are hopeful he'll be able to baptize Jacob Oct. 9th. We found out that will be the day at church yesterday. I can't believe Jakey will be 8 in a short time. Wow!!! I really wish time would SLOW down! Please continue to pray for Ry that his heart will be softened & he will have the desire to be worthy to baptize Jakey. I'm so grateful for such a wonderful family & true friends.

Brave Girl

2010-05-10T12:35:00.000-06:00

I can't believe its time...I signed up in January for this Brave Girls retreat in May. It's here! I am packed & ready to let the Journey begin. I have been stressed about what to take & worrying that I'm not artsy enough. I have never been away from the kids for more than two days. My mom is amazing & is going to take good care of them for the first 3 days then Ry will have them the last two days. I laid out everything they will need. I hope they all do well without me. I said a really deep prayer & feel peace today. My Dad must have been inspired because he gave me a great pep talk. he took my car & washed it. he told me he is here to help me in anyway. He told me to go & have a great time & that I deserve it! I get to spend 5 incredible days with my favorite friend in the Universe....Melody! Ryan & I met her & her hubby Marq in 1995. We instantly became soul sisters. We have both been through some pretty incredible heartaches. We have had to be strong for our families. She inspires me on so many levels. Before I had any kids Mel had two & was PG with # 3...she is seriously THE BEST MAMA ever. The first weekend of every month Ry & I would go to Boise for training. Marq & Mel would let us stay at their house. I would watch her with her kids & dream of when I have kids I want to be just like her. I owe her everything!

Her face makes me so happy & her voice it just makes everything right in the world. She is one of my dearest friends. I feel so Lucky to know her & to be loved by her. I leave in the morning as soon as I get Jakey & Marli on the school bus. My friend Kim Rose is riding over with me. Should be a pretty AWESOME week. I'll post an update when it's all over! Say a prayer for me & the family Please!

I may come home on Saturday & be so Brave Ry won't know what to do with me! I'm so grateful for this opportunity. I'm going to take a deep breath & try & enjoy every second of it! Here's the link if you want to check it out...www.bravegirlsclub.com

What Have You Been Up To? Part 1

2010-05-05T18:40:00.000-06:00

I know I have been a very bad blogger lately. It seems I haven't been home long enough to keep caught up on anything. I had to seriously stop everything this last week & force myself to get the housework caught up & closets cleaned out. I couldn't handle the clutter & messes for another second. Here's a glimpse of what we have been up to. April 1st my Grandma Mildred passed away. She was 88. She is one of my absolute Fave people. She always did extra special thoughtful things for us. She made all my kids blankets that were extremely detailed & beautiful. She made them all Christmas stockings. When arthritis got the best of her she was discouraged that she could no longer do all the quilting & sewing she was so passionate about, she was very sad. I treasure all the keepsakes she's made over the years. She had the best sense of humor. We took all the kids up to Butte for her funeral. We stayed at the Copper King Inn. It's the same hotel Ryan & I stayed at on our Wedding night. We have had many memories staying there. The funeral was very nice. It was at St. Marks church. My Uncle Larry (dad's brother) has had the privilege of speaking at a lot of funerals lately. He did a wonderful job.

April April 22nd we headed to Provo for my brother Kyle's Law school graduation. Ryan was unable to get the time off from work. He was having to re-qualify for his job. He had extreme test that whole week. I was pretty bummed that he didn't get to go with us. We had been planning it for months. My brother Brandon helped me out by riding with the kids & I. He actually drove the whole way there & back. It was so fun hanging out with him. I worked half the day & then met my parents, Brandon & the kids at Smitty's. After a super yummy lunch we hit the road. We stopped in Layton & did some shopping. I love the Layton mall. Brandon & Marli got haircuts. Marli also got her fingernails painted. The Highlight was riding the escalators. I missed a pretty funny thing because I was getting my eyebrows waxed. Brandon told me there were two girls about 10 or 12 & they were running up the escalators the wrong way. Apparently one of the girls biffed it big time. I know it's probably not nice to think that's funny....But they sure did. The first night we stayed at the Crystal Inn in SLC. Brandon stayed in our room both nights. Uncle Brandon was watching Family Guy without me knowing while he was hanging out with Jakey. I was NOT happy about that. Jake kept begging me to let him watch it because he thought it was the funniest show ever. It is so not appropriate for kids. Brandon apologized. I had never seen the show. Jakey thought it was hilarious that the dog Ryan smoked, drank & swore. The Baby was so mean. It's totally messed up. Anyway we swam & had so much fun. The next morning we got ready & headed to Provo for the graduation. It was at the Tabernacle. It was a beautiful place & the stairs were magical. We got there a little over an hour early. I took Marli & Conor upstairs & showed them were Uncle Kyle was going to be sitting. We found his seat. It was so cool to see all the graduates names printed on paper where they were supposed to sit. Kyle was #39. The stairs were super steep & there were a lot of the. When we went back to our seats Jakey wanted to go see Uncle Kyle's seat so once again we went up those stairs. Lesley's (Kyle's wife) family got to the Tabernacle even earlier than us & saved us seats. We were so excited to be right up front in row 4. I was so emotional all day. Eight years of college...wow....I am so incredibly proud of my brother. He has inspired all of us so much. Sitting at that graduation was one of the neatest experiences. After we all went to GoodWood BBQ for dinner. Lesley made RSVP months ago for all of us. I got to sit next to both my brothers. Pretty fun time. Almost all of Lesley's family went to dinner with us. I had the best Rib eye steak. Jakey & Marli had ribs. We then went to Kyle & Lesley's place. Kyle opened all of his gifts. We left my parents there & headed back to our hotel. We took the kids swimming. We had some pool noodles we picked up earlier in the day. The kids were so excited. We couldn't get them out of the pool. Over Two hours went by & I was ready to go relax. It was pretty late & Brandon said he was hungry so Marli, Conor & I went to In & Out Burger & picked up some burgers & fries. I had never been to a In & Out before. The next day we went to K & L's & hung out for a while. I asked Les to take some pictures of the kids & I. So we headed to a fun park that had a duck pond. This is where these fun pictures were taken. After the photo's we went & ate with the whole family at the Brick oven. YUM! Les & I shared the BEST salad it had tons of yummy fruit & grilled chicken with the best raspberry vinaigrette dressing. Les & I went shopping at the Provo mall while Brandon & Kyle played some video games & the kids played. I have always wanted to go to a Archivers craft store. There was one at the mall. I was so excited. I got some really cool stuff to make my cards for card club. I also picked up the coolest clock. Then we were off to find Marli some fun bows & head bands. I got pretty excited at this hair booth & picked up ALOT of pretty hair do dads for Missy. It was time to pack up everyone & head home. I'm so grateful I was able to spend so much quality time with Brandon. The drive home we were all exhausted. It was pretty funny that my parents left a long time before us & we passed them. Hee*Haw!!! After that trip it took me all the next day to get caught up on Laundry & stuff around the house. I was wiped out & so a migraine came to visit. I hate that part. It seems like every time I go out of town I get one of those killer headaches. My boss has been able to help me with accupucture. I'm grateful for that.

Ok I'll stop here for now & pick up with some cute pics of the kids on part 2.

Valentine Photo Shoot

2010-02-11T16:16:00.001-07:00

My Friend Nikki had the kids over to her new studio for a Valentine photo shoot. Conor was not in the picture taking mood. He bawled forever. Nikki finally had me leave & her & Marli tried everything to get him to calm down. I ordered Valentines with the kids pictures on them to hand out to their friends. Here's a few of the pictures. She hasn't edited them or touched them up, but I asked her if I could go ahead & post them. She always does such a fantastic job. I'm having her help me put a 5 x 7 book together for Mothers day.

Marli is such a little poser. She loves getting her picture taken & taking pictures.

Nikki pulled out all her props for Conor. She was blowing bubbles like crazy. He was eating some candy & pointing at the bubbles. Don't leave me Mama!

Silly Boy!

Jakey was doing the best at listening to Nikki & doing exactly what she said.
Marli trying to comfort Conor. Jake was not impressed with Conor's outbreak!

He sure looks handsome from behind.

Boom Boom fire power!
Marli loves animals. She wanted to get her picture taken with one of Nikki's aunt's dogs.

Watch out it's Conor
I was trying everything to get the little stinker to smile. I finally told him Papa Bill was hiding. He got really quite & then started laughing. Maybe we'll have to take Papa with us next time. Conor was trying to throw the bear at me. Anything for a smile!

The kids were blowing the flower petals & having so much fun. I'm glad Nikki puts up with us. I really wanted a picture of Conor wearing Jacob's tux that he wore to my brother Kyle's wedding. It's so worth all the pain when you get the pictures and they're pretty stinkin cute.

What Makes It A Great Day

2010-02-10T17:08:00.000-07:00

This week has been a difficult one. I've felt like I'm fighting a nervous breakdown. I've had a sore throat & upset stomach. I've had way to many things on my to do list. Last night Marli asked me to play the Wii with her. She looked me deep in the eyes & said "Please"!!! How could I resist that? Instead of tackling a mound of chores...I ignored everything except her. Today when she was eating her breakfast she told me how much fun she had playing with me. I knew I made the right choice. Yesterday was my day off & I wasn't home for five minutes. After volunteering in both the kids classes I had to go to the dentist. I rushed home picked Marli up took her to the dentist & did the same when Jacob got out of school. Then we had to run to the mall & a few errands. It was almost 7:00 when we finally made it home.

I've been really missing Jaxon. He is my Valentine & I really wish I could get an email or phone call from him for Valentines day. Whenever I want to feel close to him I wear red. It's always been one of my favorite colors & he loves it too. I have a very special Valentine from him that's framed on my wall. I get to see it every morning & night. I want him to know he will always be my Valentine! I just got a new Stampin Up stamp set & it's name is I {heart} Hearts! It totally makes me think of Jax. I made the cutest cards for card club & they were inspired by Jax.

The kids & I were going through their old Valentine boxes from the last few years. It's so fun to read them. The friends they made in Pre-school & Kindergarten are some of the neatest relationships. I love that we have a day dedicated to those we think of as our Valentines.
I came across this poem & thought it was pretty perfect. It's how I feel about my loved ones!

Words Aren't Enough
by: Denese H. Boyett

No words could ever tell you,
No action could express
The way I feel about you,
With you, my life is blessed.

You're the light in my tunnel.
You are my pot of gold.
You are the strength that gets me through
When despair has taken hold.

You're my once in a lifetime.
You make my life complete.
You are my blue ribbon
In the shadow of defeat.

There's nothing I could ever say,
And nothing I could do
To let you know just how much
Love is in my heart for you.

No matter what is on my list I refuse to make it more important than my family & friends. I'm so grateful I have the best kids in the world. They are so much fun & make everyday a great day. I love when we all snuggle up in my bed or on the floor. I look forward to reading with them every night. When it's so cold out we cuddle up with Hot Chocolate & have fun hiding under the blankets. I'm grateful for a warm home & a warm heart!

Miss Marli Pooh

2010-02-07T16:50:00.000-07:00

I love having a daughter so much. I love that she loves making crafts & projects. I love that she's a total girlie girl & then in a blink of an eye she's a complete tom-boy. We were driving home the other night & she saw a Karnation Intimate apparel billboard. She asked me if the couple on the sign were from dancing with the stars. It cracked me up. I want her to stay this innocent!

We're going to a watch making class next Monday. She's so excited. I love spending time with my sweet Marli pooh! Today we were standing in the hall at church waiting to go to Primary. The other ward was coming out of class. I smiled as I watched how many kids stopped & talked to Marli. It didn't matter if they were YOUNGER or OLDER than her everyone loves her.

She's such a friendly little sweetheart! I have always dreamed of having a sister. I have felt like I really missed out by not having one. I really wanted Marli to have one as well. I'm grateful that I have always had good friends & sister-in-laws to fill in the empty space of not having a sister. I'm grateful that the older Marli gets the more we can hang out & be each others sister.

It's fun doing service projects with her & have her see how important it is to help others when a need arises. She's an amazing little girl & I'm blessed to call her my daughter!

Oh Conor!!!!

2010-02-07T16:33:00.000-07:00

We left Conor home with Ryan while we went to church today. He was pretty upset. When we got home he continued to tell us off. Ryan & I made Pioneer Woman's Lasagna & Chocolate cream pie. Marli was picking up some food that had fallen under the table. She didn't realize she was still under the table & stood up & whacked her poor head pretty hard. Poor kid! I was downstairs giving her a hug & laying in her bed with her when Conor came in & grabbed a container of water off of Marli's nightstand & poured it on us. That kid is drawn to cups of water & spills like you can seriously NOT believe. He had just gotten in trouble ten minutes earlier fort playing with the water cooler in the kitchen. I don't know if he's ever going to learn. Little stinker!

It's Been Awhile

2010-02-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

I know it's been quite awhile since my last post. I often think that blogging is just too much work. It drives me crazy how long it takes to upload the pictures. However if I don't document what's going on in our world every once in a while how will I ever remember. There has been so many amazing milestones in our lives lately. I guess I'll start there.

Ryan finally went back to work Thursday. He's been off of work since December 22nd. His thyroid levels are still extremely high & goes back into the doctor Monday for more tests. We were hopeful that after the radioactive isotope his thyroid would practically be dead by now. The kids have enjoyed having him home. He finally realized all that magically gets done around here & has stepped up & helped out. He's been able to volunteer in both of the kids classes. Run errands for me & even help watch the kids & clean the house. We all got used to him being home. Now we'll have to adjust to him working. His new schedule is straight days for awhile & all though I like this schedule he despises day shift. He catches the bus at 5:20 a.m. & gets home around 5:30 p.m.

I've had some health issues of my own. My eyes have a protein build up that is causing my vision to really have problems. The eye doctor explained it to me like this. The underpart of my eyelids that are next to my eyeball are extremely irritated. they are supposed to be smooth & mine have lots of tiny bumps. He prescribed a couple different drops that will hopefully clear it up. One is a prednisone steroid drop that is like putting drops of milk in your eye which is extremely gross & leaves a nasty metallic taste in my mouth. I've also been diagnosed with TMD which is formerly known as TMJ. The pain is unbelievable & I'm trying to resolve it with the suggestions I've been given. I'm going to a Brave girls retreat in May. It's going to a awesome Birthday present. I've set a health goal to be in shape by then. I've been trying to exercise everyday & eat healthy. I've made a weight loss goal & am trying everyday to do my best to get to my goal. I've noticed I've been sleeping better & my attitude has improved. I hate to exercise & don;t think I'll ever love to. I just suffer through it & hope my body will thank me for it.

Jacob is reading like crazy. It's so exciting. We read together every night & I had no idea how awesome it would be when the light finally goes on & your child takes off with reading. He's loving 1st grade. I go to the school every Tuesday & volunteer in his class. It's the highlight of my week for sure. Jacob is now in Sr. primary which I had a hard time with. I teach the 4 yr olds & loved sitting across the room from Jacob & seeing him in opening exercises. He's doing well with his new teachers & not being in Jr primary with me & Marli. He's such a strong positive influence on all of us. I am so grateful to have him in our family. He talks about getting baptised this year. We pray daily that Ryan will have the desire to be the one to baptise him.

Marli is our social butterfly. We always have a bunch of little girls over at our house or she's at a friends. She's starting to read & doing extremely well in school. She's quite the artist. She's always making a project. She helps me with Conor all the time. They are best friends. Marli's always asking for a snack...even if we just ate. Ryan & my Dad often tease her that she she has a hollow leg & is going to be as big as a house if she continues eating like a horse.

Conor is by far our most independent child. He doesn't like not being able to do things his way. It's often a battle with him to get him to see your point of view. He loves drinking out of a big cup (and often makes messes). He loves treats & playing in Marli's room. When I'm tired Conor will often get his favorite blanket which is a white & light blue Winnie the pooh blanket I made for Jacob when he was a baby. Along with his favorite baby & cars & trucks & come & lay with me. He sits & plays. I love it when he does this. He doesn't sit & watch movies like the other kids did when they were little. He's a busy little boy.

The kids just had some Valentine pictures done. I'll upload them as soon as I get them.

Quick Update

2009-09-25T15:39:00.001-06:00

What a difference a year makes!
I was watching old home movies the other night & could not believe in the last year how much the kids have changed! They are able to do so many more things & are just so grown up.

Today Marli, Conor & I were driving in the car. We were listening to the Primary Music cd our ward gave us. Marli asked me "Mom, Do you know why I absolutely love these songs?" I said because they help you feel the spirit? She said "Yeah and because they are just so kind"! I thought that was pretty special. Marli is loving Kindergarten & has way more friends Than Jacob & me put together. She always has a friend over. She loves Primary & singing. Her teachers tell us she's amazing. She has an incredible memory & loves to draw.

Monday the 21st was Jacob's B-day #7. It's been an incredible journey the last seven years. Marli & I took 30 goodie bags to the school at 2:00. Jake was out at recess. Marli had the camera and took some really great pictures. We went out on the playground & found Jacob. It was so fun to see him playing with his friends. Jake asked for a Big Boy Birthday party this year. I asked him what that meant to him. He asked to have friends from school & church come to his party. I thought it would be better to have it on Tuesday my day off and also not FHE. I planned a really fun party. We had our friends the Marley's come over & about 10 kids. We had pizza, rootbeer, games, prizes & of course cake & ice cream.

Conor has been really growing up lately. I can see him turning into a big boy right before my eyes. Ryan's parents came over on Jacob's b-day. We made homemade pizza & hung out with them. I asked Conor to give Grandma Lyn a hug...he walked right over & hugged her so sweet. We were all a little surprised because it had been awhile since he had seen her. Then I asked him to give Grandpa Reuel a hug. He walked right over & hugged him. I was so proud of him. He's been riding the big wheels lately. He scares me how he flies down our steep driveway. At the very last second before he goes in the street he cranks the handle & turns. He laughs so hard every time. Monday he was running down the driveway & biffed it pretty bad. He landed on the palms of his hands & his little nose. Yesterday he was at my Dad's while I was at work. I guess he tripped & fell. He hit the side of his head & cheek on the edge of one of their in tables. He's got a pretty good bump & black & blue mark. Poor kid. He is 100% boy & goes mock 90 all day. When it's time for bed he laughs & is so happy when I tuck him in. He loves his Blue & white Winnie the Pooh blanket. He wants to have it with him all the time. When it's time to wash it he stands in front of the washer & tells me about it. "I want it he says" He cries for a minute until we go find some big trucks. He is absolutely obsessed with my parents new Jeep. He loves to go for rides in Papa's jeep. My parents bought him a black jeep to play with. When he walks in their house he goes over to where he left it & tells them to get it for him to play with. He's starting to really try to communicate with us & say more words. I can not believe he's going to be two soon. He had a blast at Jacob's party swinging on the big swings with his buddy Porter.

Work is going really well. I'm grateful we have all been healthy & getting used to the busy schedule we have. Ryan got a new glucose monitor that reads his blood sugar all the time. After several near death experiences...we are finally getting his diabetes under control. That in itself is a huge blessing.

Ryan took a vacation day today & went on a Harley ride with some friends. When he gets back he's going to watch some cage fights in Pocatello. My friend Linda is coming over tonight & we're going to watch a movie & make cards. Fun times!

Trials

2009-09-24T22:05:00.000-06:00

Today is always a hard day for our family. I can not believe it was seven years ago today that our sweet son Jaxon graduated from this mortal life with the highest honors. We love you so much Jax & miss you like crazy. I'm grateful for the three wonderful years we had you as our son. I'm grateful for all the memories you gave us.

I have the worst migraine today & have been throwing up. It took everything I had to get the kids ready for school. I didn't have a choice & had to go into work for five hours. My boss did some acupuncture on me & was able to really adjust my neck. It helped a lot. I had to go into the school & talk to Jacob's teacher. She is such a wonderful teacher & she asked me to come in on Tuesdays to help her. I'm looking forward to being in the classroom with Jacob & his classmates. We took Jacob into to get his allergy shot. Which we have to do every Tuesday & Thursday. We came home & read & played a couple games. I made clam chowder soup for dinner & garlic bread. I was surprised that everyone liked dinner so much.

I have been receiving a lot of calls & emails lately from friends on family members that are really having some major trials right now. Loosing loved ones suddenly & seeing others suffer with illness's or other trials. I'm not sure why it seems like everyone is suffering greatly. All I know is that through personal trials I have learned this: Adversity is not a punishment, but rather a blessing, for it is through adversity that the Lord blesses us with strength. It seemed like for the longest time we felt we were being punished for something. I know the Lord has blessed me with incredible strength to endure what is asked of me. I have found myself pleading with the Lord numerous times a day lately for those I love. I'm thankful for the gift of prayer.

New Moon Countdown Official Poster

2009-09-14T10:52:00.002-06:00

The Reason

2009-09-11T12:02:00.000-06:00

Saw this today & it brought tears to my eyes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkKRYbBcUtM&feature=email

Family Pictures

2009-08-20T11:00:00.000-06:00

August 13th was Ryan & My 15th wedding anniversary. I told him all I wanted was new family pictures. My brother Kyle & his wife Lesley & their little girl Ella were up from Provo visiting. Lesley has taken our pictures before & does a fantastic job. I asked her if she would find a spot for a photoshoot & take our pictures. We had lunch with all my family at Iggy's.Ryan suprised me with 15 long stem gorgeous pink & red roses. Then we went and saw Angels & Demons. Good movie. Then we went & picked the kids up from my parents & changed our clothes for pictures. We met Kyle & Lesley down by the river & she did a great job at getting natural pictures of us.

I love photography & wish I could take such great pictures. Thanks Lesley for such a fun painless time. I think they all turned out super good.

Saturday the 16th was family day at Ryan's work NRF. We got to go out to the desert/site & see where he works. Ryans parents went with us. My parents kept Conor. It was a lot of fun. The kids got to shoot targets with a fire hose. We got to see alot of things that are always so top secret & confidential. It was a really neat experience. My parents kept all three kids & Ry took me out to dinner at the Outback. We don't get to go on alone dates very often. I usually feel guilty that we should take one of the kids so we can have one on one time with them. Not this time though. It was a fun date.

The kids are all ready for school to start on Monday the 31st. I'm not ready to have Jakey gone all day. I like having a routine, but I don't like all the comittments that go along with it.

Tommorow is Jaxon's B-day he would be 10. We we're going to go to Lagoon with Kyle & Lesley. However my Dad's older brother Jack passed away yesterday. We will be going up to Butte in the morning. His viewing is tomm. night,then the funeral is saturday. My brother Brandon is coming from CouerD'alene. It will be good to see him. It's weird to me that Jack's first wife Thelma passed away a couple days short of exactly a year after Jaxon. Her funeral was on the same exact day as his was a year later. Now Jack is having his viewing on Jaxon's b-day.

We have had a healthy & happy summer other than this week. I'm grateful we've got to spend a lot of time with family & friends.

Two Months

2009-07-05T21:34:00.000-06:00

How can it be possible that two entire months have gone by & I have not documented a single thing. Ok I'll try to do a update of what we've been up to. We got new phones in our house. Jakey loves to answer the phone & he loves to use the intercom & talk to me. He loves to talk on the phone more than I do which is a lot!

Most recently we took a trip to Boise with all of Ryan's family. We were able to hang out & spend some quality time together. My kids are so blessed to have so many wonderful Aunts, Uncles & cousins. One of my fave parts of our trip was when we were all out on these paddleboats at Julia Davis park. My sister-in-Law Kim saw a red dragonfly. She told me about it & I felt so happy that she saw it. Ry and I saw it & smiled. Red is one of Jaxon's favorite colors & dragonflies are definately his thing.It only seems right that all of us were out there on the river & having fun as a family when we saw it. I believe dragonflies are how angels can be seen on earth.

Holding on & trying to let go

2009-07-03T20:24:00.001-06:00

Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to. Unknown

I know it's been a long time since I've updated this blog. We've been busy enjoying our time as a family. I saw this quote today & it really made me stop & think. I've been watching so many people I love endure so many awful trials. Loosing loved ones, loosing their jobs, loosing their homes, loosing their security & peace of mind. I know that what I've been asked to endure this far in life has at times shaken my very foundation. We have went through some serious dark times. We have suffered financial hardship as well as the loss of the most important blessing we have ever enjoyed...the loss of our beautiful son Jaxon.

Last night when we said our family prayers & I tucked the kid's in I took a moment to thank my Father in heaven that right now right this moment Life is Good. Jakey & Marli are growing up way too fast & I wish I could push pause & just snuggle with them & enjoy them right now. Life is what we make it & right now I am choosing to make it the best for all who are around me. I'm grateful for the 4th of July. We live in the Best country in the world. We enjoy our freedom & our families. There is no greater joy than that of living in the moment. I am really enjoying life & being my kids mom!

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. Eddie Cantor
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different. Stacey Charter

Look at your past. Your past has determined where you are at this moment. What you do today will determine where you are tomorrow. Are you moving forward or standing still?
You don't get to choose how you are going to die. Or when.
You can only decide how you are going to live. Now. Joan Baez

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

>

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

These are some of my favorite quotes. I'm grateful for the trials I have been given. I'm grateful for the strength my Heavenly Father has blessed me with to endure my trials. I'm grateful that my eternal companion has been with me holding my hand & cheering me on the entire path we have walked. Sometimes it seems we didn't have the ability to walk & we carried one another. That is what family is for though. We are here to help our loved ones any way we can. All in all at the end of the day all that is important is our loved ones.

Elevator

2009-04-26T03:37:00.000-06:00

Jakey fell asleep tonight on the floor in my scrapbook room. I tried to carry him up to bed. Half way up the stairs I stopped & said"Man I wish we had a elevator". Jakey perked up & said "Yeah that'd be awesome then Uncle Mark could go in our basement...We'd need elevator music though mom"! Last weekend Mark let Jakey & Marli borrow some Justice League movies. When we picked them up there was only one case. Jake was excited to have the movie. When we got home & he went to put the movie in he was thrilled there were four movies in the case. Jake was so serious when he was explaining to Marli that they have to take really good care of Uncle Marks movies. He said Marli we love you, but you AREN'T allowed to touch them... you might scratch them. Thanks Uncle Mark for making a couple kids very happy! We love you! (hope it's OK I cased these off your blog. I thought the Jazz picture was appropriate because it's playoffs)

Happy Birthday #27 Kyle

2009-04-25T10:18:00.000-06:00

- I remember the day my little brother Kyle was born. I begged my parents for a brother or sister. I honestly didn't care what I got. I was almost eight when he finally got here. I was so happy! Although there have been times in my life that I thought there was a huge mix up at the hospital....because Kyle doesn't look like us & he is way smarter than all of us combined. I know he is my brother. The one I prayed so hard for.

I always knew Kyle would be an Awesome dad. He has been so good with my kids. To watch him with kids is so fun. He is like a big kid. I wish we lived closer so we could see each other everyday!

I hope you have a very Happy Birthday little brother! I am so proud to be your sister. You make me smile every time I see your face or hear your voice! Thanks for putting up with me over the years! I love you so very much!

We hope you have the best Birthday ever! We wish we could be there with you to celebrate! Go Red Sox!!!! I hope you always know how much your family in Idaho loves you!

Photoshoot With Lesley Day #2

2009-04-18T10:51:00.000-06:00

I finally got the pictures to upload from the disc Lesley sent me. They all turned out so cute. Even though she's taken lots more than two photshoots of my kids I named this one two because it was day two in Provo with them.

When we went to the Draper outlet mall Marli picked out a panda necklace that came in a cute little panda. She loves to shop as much as her mama.

The kids got these fun suckers from Chuckee Cheeze with all their prize tickets.

Sweet little Conor

I love the Osh Gosh store in Draper. I got the boys some really fun matching shirts & shorts. They both like wearing matching clothes.

Jakey picked out this hat with his his prize tickets. Funny how we had a thousand tokens & I still ended up paying like $10 so they could get a sucker & a hat.

Ella Bella with Marli's sucker. When Kyle brought her to our hotel she was still in her Jammie's. I helped Kyle get her dressed & do her hair. It was so fun. Marli wanted Ella to wear one of her hair bows.

I Love this picture of the two girls. Their expressions are priceless. I'm hoping one day I can figure out photoshop & collage pictures. For now I'll have to settle for posting them this way. I'm so grateful Lesley captured these for me. I love them all!

Pictures By Lesley

2009-04-13T10:40:00.000-06:00

When we were in Utah visiting my brother Kyle & his family I asked Lesley to take some pictures of all four Grand kids. I'm working on a collage for Mothers day & one for my dad's garage for Fathers day. She sent me the disc & I thought I would post some of the pictures. I'll try & post some more later. These were mostly taken the night we went to dinner at Tucanos Brazilian restaurant.

Cute Ella loved sitting by Marli as much as Marli loved it. When we were leaving Marli said "Ella is the sister I've always wanted".

It was fun to put Conor & Ella next to each other. They loved touching & staring at each other.

My cute parents

Conor loves hats. He always has a hat on even if it's not his. He's wearing Jakey's Red sox hat here. A couple fun things Conor does is says "MINE" when he wants something someone has. Usually it's when you have a drink with a straw or food. His grip is way stronger than all of ours. If he wants something bad enough you CAN NOT get it out of his grip. Jakey & Marli know this & have lost many battles with him. He loves shoes (gets that from me). He will put on any ones shoes and walk around in them. He loves being outside. He stands by the door or window & tells you he wants out. He HATES the highchair. If your sitting on the floor he backs up & sits on your lap. He just started giving us kisses, where he tries to pucker up & kiss. So cute. The other day Jacob said the funniest thing about Conor that is SO TRUE "Instead of Danger around every corner, at our house it's Conor is around every corner". Conor locked himself in the bathroom by pulling out the bottom drawer. It took Ry a good 15 minutes to get him out. Conor LOVES making messes. He goes from room to room destroying all that he can get his little paws on. Anything on the kitchen table is fair game to him.

When we went back to Kyle & Lesley's the kids had so much fun playing with Ella's toys. We were surprised when Ella came over to Ryan. She was totally fascinated with his whiskers. She was so funny pulling on them.

Ella liked Marli's button on her shirt.

This is the only picture of me & it's quite a winner don't ya think? I must have eaten way too much by the expression on my face. I liked this one despite my goofy eyes being closed. It's fun to see everyone enjoying a meal together. (Minus Lesley cuz she's taking the picture) She got our cute waiter though.

This was while we were waiting to be seated. Not sure where Jakey, Ryan & I were?

We had the best time with My brother Kyle his wife Lesley & Ella. I wish we lived closer so we could hang out all the time. Thanks Les for taking pictures.

Conference weekend

2009-04-05T17:17:00.000-06:00

I have really been looking forward to conference weekend. My goal was to be able to stay home not go ANYWHERE & enjoy the time together as a family. Be inspired by our church leaders. Mission accomplished. Jake & Marli really helped me out a lot. They watched Conor & played with him while I went downstairs in my scrapbook room & worked on my cards for card swap this week and a few other projects that I've wanted to finish up. I folded laundry & enjoyed being inspired by all the speakers.

Conor loves cords & electronics. He loves opening doors and closing them.He loves taking things out of their place. I just wished he liked putting things back.
After the morning broadcast I went upstairs to find all three kids playing in Jakey's room. My camera battery was dead otherwise a picture would be on here. Seriously my heart stopped for a second when I opened the door. Every single lego & toy in our house was on Jacob's floor or bed. I wasn't upset at all however because they were having so much fun and kept Conor entertained while I enjoyed listening to Conference. I put Marli & Conor in the bathtub. I asked Ry to help Jake with his school workbook. While I cleaned up the demolition. I made a yummy lunch. Homemade chille. We had quasadilla's & nacho's. All is well All is well! We are so blessed that we can watch Conference from our homes. I'm so grateful for this blessing! My fave quote from conference....We are never lost when we can see the Temple! What a wonderful weekend. President Monson is so incredible. I love him and am so grateful for his example. What a great man. "We are a blessed people. I love you & pray for you & ask that you do the same for me & all the general authorities". It's always sad when it's over. I can't wait to get next months Ensign. I loved all the music & especially the closing song "Till we meet again". I think I'm on a spiritual high. Hopefully it'll last all week.

Papa John

2009-04-04T12:05:00.000-06:00

My Uncle Larry called my dad Wed. night & said Papa John wasn't doing very well. When my dad told me Thursday morning when he picked the kids up from my office, I said I wanted to go see him. When I told Ryan he said he wanted to go see him too. (Ry & Papa John have the same b-day Sept. 18th.) This made me very happy that he knew it was important to go. All day Thursday at work I was so emotional. I just couldn't pull it together. I was thinking about how much Jaxon struggled towards the end & just wanted my Grandpa to be comfortable & feel how very much we all love him. As we prepared to go to Butte we were going to stay the night. Hotels were $120 a night which shocked me. In Butte? That is so crazy! We decided we would just go & see what happened. We woke up to so much snow. I had to call and excuse Jakey from school & Marli from dance. We met my parents at Smitty's for breakfast. My dad said he wasn't going to risk taking "his kids" on those roads. We ate our yummy breakfast & didn't say too much about going. My dad had worked night- shift the night before & was tired. At the end of meal Ry told my dad we need to go. What if something happens tomm. you will never have the opportunity to undo not going. We finally persuaded him to put on his big girl panties & go. The kids & I watched "Marley & Me" on the way up. The roads were pretty yucky. I knew we were in safe hands.( My hubby has his class CDL license for heavens sake. He reminds me of that all the time.) He's driven in the worst situations. We made it to Dillon finally & went in the gas station that we always go in. They had some little chick chicks under a heat lamp. All three kids thought that was so cool. We got some snacks and loaded back up. When we pulled in Butte I was bawling I was scared to see my Grandpa who in my mind is so strong so full of life. I didn't want to see him frail and sad.

I hugged him so tight. I was so happy to see him doing so much better than I thought he would be. He is on oxygen & is pretty frail. He has a oxygen machine just like the one Jax had. Ripped my guts out. I brought him several treats from Great Harvest bread. I cut him up a apple crisp bar and he really enjoyed it. That made me smile.

Grandpa John held Marli's hand for a really long time. I could see the smile on both their faces. I remember being little and my Papa John always made me feel like I was the most special little girl. He still does. I love him so very much. He is a good guy. Everyone who knows him loves him & respects him.

I love Jakey in this picture he has his hand on Papa John's heart and is smiling. So Precious!Conor would go over to Papa John's feet & touch them & giggle. He loved playing peek a boo with him. He liked exploring his house. So much to get into.

Ry thought it would be nice to take the kids outside so the adults could visit. Larry's wife Donna came by. We had such a nice visit. I love my Aunt Donna so much. I'm so grateful that she is there taking care of Papa John. Her Dad passed away last Sept. She took care of him during his last few months. We laughed and cried. The kids came and got me they wre so excited to show me something. In Papa John's backyard the kids had made a cute snowman. I'm not sure why Marli was so sad for a minute.

I had to tickle her to get her to smile. I'm so grateful Ry was inspired to do this. Hopefully we will all remember this day forever.Before we left town we stopped by my Uncle Jack's credit union. We got to visit with him and my cousin Scott. It was so nice. We then went to Joe's pasty shop & got a bunch of little pasties & 10 big ones. Yum Yum. Then we got a porkchop sandwich onion rings and shakes. Jakey was so funny he ate a whole sandwich & they are huge! He's really got Montana blood in him. Hahah! We watched the movie hairspray on the way home. That was pretty interesting. All in all it was a great trip. I'm grateful we made it there and home safely.

Hanging out at home

2009-03-27T11:22:00.000-06:00

Home sweet home

It doesn't happen very often at our house that we have an entire day to just hang out at home. These days are so cherished & welcomed. I love that the kids will get pillows & blankets and lay out in the living room. We hung out watching movies and playing games. So fun. We even had a pillow fight.

Con Con as we like to call him being silly

Jakey & Marli are best friends. They enjoy playing with each other and their likes are so similar. Marli is so easy going and what ever Jake wants to watch or do is fine with her. I walked in the living room and had the biggest smile when I saw them laying so close to each other & just enjoying being with each other. I told them this makes mom so very happy to see them loving one another.

What's this I spy? Jakey Hugging Marli's Thigh! Hahaha

I made this Winnie the Pooh blanket for Jacob when he was born. Conor loves it & sleeps with it. He rubs it on his cheek & tells me blankey. I can't believe he is 17 mo. old. He went from having 8 teeth to 15 practically over night. Unbelievable!

Conor loves his older brother & sister very much. You can most often find him in the middle of whatever they are doing.

I was thinking next year we have to go some where for spring break and thaw out...then I see these little munchkins just loving being home and not having to go anywhere. A lot of our neighbors went to Disneyland or Disney World for spring break. The kids keep asking me when we can go. I told them when Conor is three!?! We'll see!

Treats

2009-03-15T14:10:00.000-06:00

Conor's new thing is to come get me & tell me he wants a drink or treat. Sometimes when I don't go with him right away he'll stand in front of the fridge or pantry and whine or whimper like a little puppy.

I recently picked up a couple of these new sippee cups that have straws that swear they are spill proof. Conor loves drinking out of a straw. Whenever we go out to eat he thinks who ever has a drink with a straw it's automatically HIS drink. I was pleasantly surprised when they really are totally spill proof.

Marli LOVES ice cream sandwiches. We ran out awhile back. She kept begging me to pick up some more. She was so happy the other day when I came home with a whole bunch. She was watching t.v. & had ice cream on her cute little face. I had to get a picture of her when I repeatedly asked her to go wash her face & she was so into her show she didn't even notice I was right in front of her.

I guess I didn't do very good getting a picture of her with her eyes open eating her treat.

Jakey joined Marli enjoying a ice cream sandwich. He thought it was so good he was licking his fingers which he never does. I thought this was so hilarious.

This picture cracks me up. He's looking at me like " Ma what do you want? Can't I enjoy my snack without you taking my freaking picture"?

Oh Sweet Mama

2009-03-11T20:22:00.001-06:00

Ry drove out to work today. He left work a hour early. He called me at work around 4:00 asking what he could do to help. I was surprised he was in town before 5:30. I told him he could give my mom a break & pick up the kids. He got them dinner and headed home for Halo family night. His buddies & their kids are all playing Halo live tonight.
I knew I didn't need to hurry home so I took the opportunity to have some me time. I went to Barnes & noble and picked up a couple books I've wanted for awhile. I love their bargain & clearance tables. Then I went to Gandolfo's and went inside for once instead of the drive-thru. I was visiting with the owner and told him I had never been inside. We always go thru the drive thru. He got my order together and told me to bring the kids in anytime he has candy for them and we both laughed. When you have three little ones you just don't go in anywhere if you don't have to.When I got home tonight the first person to greet me was my beautiful daughter. She yells"Oh Swwweeet Mama". I laughed & said were did you hear that? She says hear what? Sweet mama? Her response"What? Well ya are"! OK! As I'm carrying in everything from the car she asks"So, What'ya bring Marli"? I smiled and said Oh nothing. Then she runs over to the kitchen table and See's that I didn't finish my sandwich from gandolfo's. She exclaims"Oh mom your the best! You brought me one of those yummy sandwiches"! She gobbles it up. I asked her how she was doing. She looked at me very seriously and said"Good, Real good,actually painfully good"! What does painfully good mean. "Oh ya know" then she gives me two thumbs up. I gave her a huge hug and kiss. She definitely lights up my life.

Marli and I were looking at a couple blogs tonight. She says "Oh! I miss them too much. Plus that one! Oh I love my family! My whole family".

Marli completely cracks me up. She has her own language & her own world. I think that is is awesome what a free spirit she is. She lives in Marli*Land & lets us come visit from time to time. Instead of a Barbie world it's a Marli*World at our house. We wouldn't trade it for anything. She's a total sweetie pie.

Too Much Fun In Utah

2009-03-09T12:04:00.000-06:00

Ryan & I took the kids to Utah to see my brother Kyle his wife Lesley & my adorable niece Ella. My parents came with us and we had way too much fun. We didn't get out of town until 10:30 because the new DVD player Ry bought the night before at best buy wouldn't work(best buy doesn't open until 10:00). We met my parents for breakfast at Smitty's. Marli rode with my parents. Jacob & I watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua on the way down. It was so fun to hang out with the boys. Conor was watching the movie too which totally surprised me because he NEVER watches t.v. I'm hoping my SIL Lesley post some pictures on her blog. I brought my camera and didn't take a single picture on our trip.

Words can not even begin to describe how much I love my brother Kyle and his family. I love hanging out with them. No matter what we do we always have so much fun. On our way to Provo we stopped in Draper at the

Draper Factory Stores12101 S Factory Outlet Drive Draper, UT801-571-2933. Ryan got a leather vest & leather gloves for riding his Harley. He was pretty happy. I got the kids some super cute Summer clothes.

One of my all time favorite stores is Osh Gosh. I used to always dress Jaxon in their clothes. I got Jakey & Conor some cool matching outfits. They both thought it was cool that they had twinner shirts and pants and jersey's and shorts.

We met Kyle,Lesley & Ella for dinner at this amazing Brazilian restaurant called Tucanos Brazilian Grill . Oh my this place was so good. We all ate way too much. I saw on a cooking show last week about this Brazilian lemonade it looked so yummy. I was so excited when the waitress asked me if I wanted to try their specialty drink. It was the lemonade I wanted to try. It was so delicious.

I have never been to Ikea so it was on our wish list of places to go while in Utah. I love this store. It has all this stuff that you never even knew you needed. They have a play land for the kids to play in if they are potty trained. Jakey & Marli loved it. They had all sorts of fun stuff to jump & climb on while we all shopped. They give you a pager like when you go out to eat in case your child needs you. They give the parents a hour to shop. I was late picking the kids up it was more like a hour and 15 min. the girl said they tried to page me. Apparently my pager didn't work. Whoops!

The kids wanted to go to Chuck E cheeze. After Ikea I rode with Lesley to Hobby Lobby. Ryan met Kyle, Ella and my parents at Chuck E's. When they were ready to leave we stopped by to help load them all up. We went to Johnny Carino's for dinner. Only because the Cheese cake Factory had a two hour wait. Lame!

After Dinner we said our goodbye's and we had to head back to Provo to pick up Ry's pillow he left there. There was a girls basketball tournament in Provo and I talked to a bunch of the girls that were staying at our hotel. Their team was from Chicago. I told them we were from Idaho Falls, Id. and Chicago had nothing on us we are the windiest city.

The new Cabella's in Lehi was also on our list of places to see. They had a trailer out front with all these animals that were killed by poachers. It was called the Poachers wall of shame. The store was awesome. The kids really liked seeing all the animals and fish. They have this huge aquarium that is in a tunnel. There were some funky fish in there. Jakey said this one fish looked like a walrus's grandson. They had a pond of fish and they were all big. I was talking to the guy that worked there about what kind of fish were in there. He was telling me they were mostly trout. Once they got to a certain weight they would transfer them to the big aquarium. If they were too little the big fish would eat them.

Ryan was on a serious mission to find the Cheesecake Factory on the way home. It was going on 9:00 and he found it. He took Marli in to go potty and came out with three different kinds of cheesecake. We saved them for the next day when we got the car cleaned out and laundry all done it was our reward. We had a really fun trip. Thanks Kyle & Lesley for putting up with all of us.

Time To Reflect

2009-03-04T19:07:00.000-07:00

This last month has been a very momentous one. Huge changes have occurred in my life. Both professional and personal. I have taken the time to reflect on what I can do to simplify life. I'm grateful everything has worked out so well. I was completely stressed out with my boss selling the practice. I had the flu and was down in bed for over a week. I'm feeling happier now than I have in years. Life is Good. I have had so much fun hanging out with girlfriends this month. I went out every night the week of 15th. I had dinner with friends...lunch with friends...went to Confessions of a shopaholic. I'm so grateful to have family to help me and give me a break from life. I'm especially grateful for my health. It's hard to maintain a 100 MPH when you can't stop coughing and your entire body aches. So happy that is behind me.
Marli after church
Bath time fun

Little man Conor following dad around the house

Life is Hard....Marriage is even Harder! I'm so grateful that Ryan & I are committed to this marriage. We are committed to each other & to our children.

Ryan & I went to the L.A. Guns & Skid Row concert on Feb.19th. It was awesome. We went with two couples that Ryan works with. My Mom had all three kids sleep over at her house. It was such a fun night. The music brought back so many memories. It's what Ry & I listened to & partied to when we were dating. We let our hair down (figuratively speaking since Ry shaves his head) and head banged and just had a really fun time. Sebastian Bach was fired from the band. The singer Johnny has been with the band for ten years. I thought he was as good as Bach.

The kids & I have had a blast on our Imac. Jakey & Marli will both go down get on the computer and go to their favorite game sites. Right now its penguin club.com.

Fun with IPhoto

2009-02-17T14:10:00.000-07:00

Marli and I were playing around on with iphoto on our new imac. When I watched this, she reminded me of her brother Jaxon. One time when I was videoing Jax at primary children's while he was in Bone Marrow. He was watching himself on the little view finder. He was really watching "What's Jaxon doing?" He had Cheetos in his teeth. he asked "What's wrong with Jaxon's teeth. Marli's little giggle takes me back to listening to Jaxon's sweet giggle.

I know this is pretty silly and freaky, but we thought it was Pretty Funny!

Come In My Office & Meet My New Boss

2009-02-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

The Calm After The Storm

2009-02-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful that I am finally feeling better. It has been a brutal 9 days of being super sick. I went back into the doctor because I wasn't getting any better. They ran a series of blood tests and came to the conclusion that I go through life 24/7 full throttle. I can't keep on that path or my body will continue to shut down. My immune system was so weak from all the stress I've been under. Today I finally feel like I am at peace. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. I can't stress out about it. I need to accept it and move on. I am enjoying the calm after the storm. On my days off I'm going to quit doing way too much. I'm done living in the fast lane. I was down in bed for several days. Anyone who knows me knows that's just not possible. I didn't have a choice. I can never sit and be still. Having the flu and being that sick forced me to rest. I'm not going to be that hard on myself anymore. So here is the funky Bo-Bunny album I made last Friday night. It was so fun. I think it turned out pretty cool. I just need to print my pictures and put them in it. This was a super fun class.

This picture of Conor is from today. Before church we took some pictures. Conor is obsessed with having something around his neck. He grabbed the camera strap, put it around his neck and I took this shot.

Jakey took a couple of Marli and me (Conor wanted me to hold him and he was still in his p.j.'s)Every time I put him down he'd come back over and tell me he wanted up again.
Marli took these ones of Jakey and Me. Jake kept trying to give me bunny ears so I distracted him by "Rock'in out"

Conor has decided he loves playing on the stairs. No matter how hard I try to block off the stairs he finds his way to them. He was playing with this bus for quite a long time. He was dancing and singing to the music it plays.
Yesterday we had such a fun day as a family. Somehow all three kids ended up in the tub together at the same time. I didn't get any pictures of that. It was pretty insane. There was water everywhere. They had a fun time. We haven't made homemade pizza in ages so we did that. Then Marli helped me make Valentine cookies. The kids played guitar hero for the first time. They loved it. When all the kids were finally in bed I was upstairs watching t.v. (which never happens). Ry came up and asked me if I wanted to play spades on the xboz 360. I said sure. So him and I played cards and had fun just the two of us. It was so nice to sit side by side and laugh and enjoy the time together.

Today after church I was set apart as a primary CTR5 teacher. Jacob and Marli were able to sit in on it. The bishop's counselor gave me a wonderful blessing. The spirit was so strong. I felt this incredible comforting peace wash all over me. I'm grateful for the Priesthood. I'm grateful my kids were able to share that experience with me.

Can I Ask You Something?

2009-02-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was laying on the couch downstairs dreading what to make for dinner when the sweetest thing happened. Jakey came and laid with me. The conversation went something like this. Mom are you feeling any better? No Not really. Dad and I have been praying for you to feel better. Mom is the same thing going to happen to you that happened to Jaxon? I don't mean you getting cancer,but Jaxon was too good for this world so Heavenly Father took him back to live with him. (With tears in his eyes he hugs me) Mom I love you so much I want you to feel better. How sweet! Then he went and got his book from the school library and we read it.

The sweetness couldn't last forever at our house. I was in my scrap room getting something when all of a sudden rice was flying everywhere. Apparently Marli was swinging my "Shmuf" (rice bag) that Devon made me and it hit something that spliced it open. Voila!!! Rice everywhere!

I was super proud of myself. I didn't get upset. I didn't even say a bad word. Probably because I just don't have the energy. I never said a bad word . I just grabbed the camera and the vacuum.

It took forever to get all the rice cleaned up.

Conor Loves the vaccum. He isn't scared of it at all. Well he wasn't until tonight. I got out our little vac to clean up the rice. Conor was having fun playing with it.Then I turned it on and was vacumming. I set it down for a second while I moved some things. He grabbed it, his hand went over the hose when it was on. It sucked his hand pretty good. He looked at me like his B/f bit him. Crazy! That reminds me of one more thing. I asked Jake to bring Conor to me today so I could wipe his face. Conor was peeved at Jake for manhandling him. He flipped out and bit Jake's hand. Jake almost cried. He said he bit me! He bit me hard!

Coming To A CrossRoad

2009-02-02T10:12:00.001-07:00

Watch out below! This is exactly how I feel! It's super scary hanging off the edge like I am. I knew this day was coming someday. I guess I was just in complete denial. My boss Dr. Fred sold the practice to Jaman Brunson. It's official. He gave him the check and signed the papers. Patients asked was I part of the sale? I'm not exactly sure. Jaman and I are going to sit down and go over things. I am completely overcome with sadness.Time will tell what's going to happen. Fred is going to stay working until the end of April. I feel like I'm loosing everything I have worked so hard for. I'm defiantly at a crossroads in my life. I'm turning it over to The man upstairs. Whatever is supposed to happen will.
For now I'm going to Redicare to see if they can give me something to help me feel better. I have the flu and feel horrible. I'm calling it a day. I think I'll crawl back in bed and hide as long as possible.

Sledding After Fresh Snow storm

2009-01-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

We really got quite a bit of new snow the last couple days. It's the really heavy wet snow that gives me a heart attack when I shovel it. I was starting to think that maybe it was just going to be cold for awhile and that we had shoveled the last of this years snow a couple weeks ago. That must have just been wishful thinking. I had my car detailed inside and out last week and so I may be the one to blame for all the new snow. I new my car couldn't stay clean for long. After shoveling the driveway we decided we needed to make the most of the new snow. Ryan & I took the kids sledding.

Conor was loving being outside

Ry pulled Jacob and Conor for a little bit...until they both fell off

Here's Ry going down the hill with all three kids!

I wish I had audio of Conor's laugh. He seriously had a grin from ear to ear the entire time. He was belly laughing all the way down the hill. This is the very first time he's been sledding. He L*O*V*E*D it!!!
Marli was having the time of her life. She went down more than all of us combined. I love this picture of her. She's so happy!

Look at that face....he's such a little stinker! Looking at that picture you would never know that Jacob was ready to go home after about five minutes of being out in the cold. Ryan and I couldn't believe we had to practically force him to enjoy himself.

This picture pretty much sums up the fun time we had. Marli was so excited to be out in the cold, with the fresh snow. She was eating snow and really loving every second of it! I'm completely exhausted from carrying Conor up the hill at least ten times. Looking at these pictures makes it totally worth the effort. I think we'll all sleep good tonight!

Jakey had his friend Andrew from school come over tonight. Andrew brought his older sister Ariel with him. Marli was excited to have a girl to play with. The kids had a blast dressing up as super hero's and playing the wii. I was going to take pictures of the kids, but Jake asked me not to. I'll have to be sneaky next time to get some pic's.

Dog Gone

2009-01-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

A friend sent this to me today. Funny thing is this looks exactly like the back seat of my armada, and if we had a dog it would be a beagle. Check out the scratch marks on the seat. The email said " I got pulled over by a cop for speeding. I almost talked my way out of the ticket until the cop looked in the back seat and saw my dog"! I thought this was so cute.

Ever Feel like this?

2009-01-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

Some of my new faves

2009-01-16T16:00:00.001-07:00

This week a few of my new faves are:

Facebook
Imac
Clean Armada detailed inside and out
Clean Carpets and tile
Making jewlery with Devon

Pocket Full Of Sunshine

2009-01-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

Looking out the window today this is not the picture I see. It is however what I pretend to see when I close my eyes. For some reason I always get really down in January. The cold doesn't help any. I've been wishing the weather would warm up a little so we could at least thaw out. Marli told me we were driving in the clouds today on our way to my office, it was so foggy. If I had my way I would go somewhere warm Jan. 1st and come back in April. When I look at this picture of myself I realize how much a smile can alter my attitude.

These faces always make me smile.

I have always sung this song to all four of my kids ........
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.You make me happy when skies are grey.You'll never know dear, how much I love you.Please don't take my sunshine away.The other night dear, as I lay sleeping,I dreamt I held you in my arms.When I awoke dear, I was mistaken,So I hung my head down and cried.You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.You make me happy when skies are grey.You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

I may not have a pocket full of cash...but at least I have my family which always makes me have a pocketful of sunshine.Lately it seems everything our family needs/wants has at least a $100 price tag. After playing Kyle & Lesley's snowboarding game on the wii fit over Christmas break we've really wanted one. They are sold out everywhere. Also after playing the wii on my parents super nice flat screen plasma t.v. we're feeling sad playing it on our t.v, it seems so small now. We needed a new printer to go with our new computer, I was able to find one at Sam's club for a way better price than anywhere else. I really wanted photo shop for my i mac. Thankfully I was able to trade my unopened PC software for mac thanks to my sister-in-law Melissa. We need an external hardrive/backup. I guess this is why wish lists were invented. We'll keep adding to our wish list until maybe someday we win the lottery. A girl can dream right?

*Yesterday my group of kids in Jacob's class got to do a really fun art project. When I got home I was inspired to clean out my scrap/craproom. I went through everything and purged all I thought I couldn't live without. Everything else I put in bags to donate to Jacob's teacher, Mrs. Gale. She was elated when Jake gave her everything this morning. It made me feel great to be able to get rid of a lot of stuff and know it will be used and appreciated.

Day Dreaming

2009-01-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

Today I'm missing a lot of my loved ones that don't live close. I was day dreaming about what if I could create a village where my favorite people were my neighbors. How wonderful it would be to be surrounded by those who matter most to me. I could go out my front or back door and know I could help those who really need my help. Most days I feel so overwhelmed with life, what a blessing it would be to know I could yell out the window or knock on the door next door and have a loved one come over and help. Don't get me wrong my neighbors are all wonderful and do help me a lot. I just wish I could have my own little corner of the world where everyday I could spend as much time as I want with those who I really want to be with.
This is my dream house. All of my kids cousins would live on my road. They could play all day. They could have sleepovers all the time.

I think this would be Ryan's dream job owning a little shop that had different cheese and treats. It would be in our village. Just some food for thought. Maybe someday.

Happy New Year

2009-01-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

2009 The New Year always brings a new start, new slate ,and the possibilities of new adventures. Our family is excited for this New Year. I have a lot to Blog about and get caught up. I have wanted to get some nice pictures of the kids and it unfortunately never worked out. We missed getting our Christmas cards out this year because we didn't have a recent picture of all of us. My brother and his wife Lesley were here for a week visiting.Lesley has recently taken up photography and while she was here we threw together a little photo shoot.I needed three specific pictures. One for our New Year Cards, One for my mother-in-law of my three kids for her desk at work and one of Ella (Kyle's little girl) with my three kids for my parents.Lesley found this pretty cool place to take pictures outside. Exactly what I had in mind.It was a nice day until we started taking pictures. Then the wind really picked up. The kids said they were freezing. It was interesting to watch people look at us as they drove or walked by. All of a sudden this guy and his dog go walking by, when the dog crosses the street and heads right for Conor.He tried to lick Conor to death. Poor little guy! There were some hysterical moments in the quick fifteen minutes. I'm grateful she was able to get some really great pictures. Thanks Les!

I'm in love....
Our home computer died a few months ago. We have debated back and forth on what to do about getting a new one. We bought our dell right after Jaxon passed away. It was supposed to be great to copy all our video of him to dvd. Monday I made the decision to order a new computer. After much research I learned a imac would be ideal for our family. So we have crossed over to the apple way of life. Yippee! As Marli would say "My one true love... I love you" It was delivered today and I'm happy to welcome this baby into our family.Hopefully it will become my new best friend and I'll get caught up on blogging.

The Angels T-ball Team Season Started Monday June 9th

2008-07-06T17:07:00.000-06:00

Conor Clap,Clap,Clap

2008-07-05T19:08:00.000-06:00

Marli Line 'Em Up

2008-07-05T18:08:00.000-06:00

The other day I came upstairs to something that may seem pretty common to most people. To me it is anything, but common it's actually very special. Marli found Jaxon's matchbox cars, and was playing with them. There are two blue cases that each hold 50 cars. Jax used to line them up in rows. He was very precise how he lined each car up. Marli was doing something pretty similar. It made me smile. I explained to her how Jaxon would play for hours with these cars and how special it was to me. She gave me a big hug and told me thanks for letting her play with his cars. She tells me all the time "Mom, I wish Jaxon didn't die. I love him." Me too!

I had to grab the camera and take some pictures of this so I'll never forget how neat this was.

America The Beautiful

2008-07-02T23:10:00.000-06:00

Ryan Urges everyone in the strongest possible terms to go to:

http://www.thetitleofliberty.org/

The flags and monument to our 39 fallen soldiers from Idaho. To learn about one man's mission.
Also please check out The flags and monument to our 39 fallen soldiers from Idaho at the field of Flags on west Broadway. This man is trying to educate and keep alive all that we as U.S. citizens should hold dear and never forget.

Ryan got home tonight and told us a very special story. He was driving home and was prompted to stop at the field of flags. Every year for the past three years we always say we need to buy two flags from this field. They're $25 each. He listened to the prompting and went there. He asked the guy who is in charge if he had time to answer a few questions. The guy was really nice and went and got a chair and sat with Ryan and answered his questions. Ryan told the man he wanted two flags one of each. He looked in his wallet to see if he had any money. He saw a $50 bill that he has had tucked away for something special. He didn't remember putting it in his wallet. He's hung on to it for quite some time. He told us that he felt Jaxon close. He thinks Jax wanted his family to have these flags. Our family has always loved the fourth of July. It's probably our favorite holiday.

Ry took Jacob and had him help him put the flags in our yard. I was inside and was so touched by what he was doing. I was listening to him talk to Jake about why we celebrate the 4th of July. I was crying as I listened and watched.

When Jaxon was two Ryan drove truck for Doug Andrus and also worked at Three B detention. He was asked to pull a float that was for Bonneville County. Ry drove and Jax and I rode with him. Jax had a squirt gun and would squirt the people watching the parade. Everyone would wave to him and he thought it was so neat. Jax always loved the American flag. I'm so grateful that Ryan had this experience today. Jaxon has been so close the past couple days. I'm thankful that as the fourth of July is approaching our family can have Jax near.

Tagged By My Brother

2008-07-02T20:02:00.000-06:00

My Brother Kyle tagged me, so here goes:

Favorite Person (outside of family)?
My neighbor and best friend Nikki Foust. It's so nice having her practically next door.(Two doors down) Her family is always there for me to lend a hand or an ear. She helps me not spend money. She works hard. She plays hard. She's a blast to be around.

Favorite Food?
Prime rib outback style.

Quirks about you?
I'm a neat freak. I can't stand clutter. I'm sure I have quirks that I'm unaware of.

How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less?
Ryan: "Beautiful,Loving,Benevolent,Strong,Thoughtful,Devoted to family,Gentle,Amazing or Incredible, Selfless or unselfish, Protector or Guardian"
Jaxon: "Hot Mama"
Jacob: "Pretty,Good Cook,Nice"
Marli: "Beautiful,Fun,Nice"
Conor: "Dadadda!?!"

Any regrets in life?
Oh yeah....their is too many to mention. I will just say they started at the age of 13 and go through the age of 18. I will not say what, for fear my kids will have it to hold against me when they are teenagers! Yikes!

Favorite Charity/Cause?
Primary children's hospital telethon and childhood cancer research

Favorite Blog recently?
Melissa Francis She just completed treatment for breast cancer. She is so talented and brave.
http://www.melissafrances.typepad.com/

Something you can't get enough of?
Hugs and kisses from my kids and handsome husband. Also chocolate!

Worst Job you've ever had?
Housekeeper at The west bank hotel

What job would you pay not to have?
IRS agent

If you could be a fly on the wall, where would it be?
I was talking to my sister-in-law Kim about this the other day. Putting her baby Hailey 14 mo. old and Conor 8 mo. old in a crib together. I would giggle so hard. They love to look at each other and poke each other. It would be fun to watch.

Also I would love to see the Savior visit the children at Primary Children's Hospital. I read a book that was a true story about the Savior visiting sick children in the SLC PMCH. You can feel him close by when your there, but to actually see him with the children would be so amazing.

Favorite Bible verse right now?
James 1:12
Blessed is the man that endures temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

Guilty Pleasure?
Scrap booking drinking Coca Cola

Got any confessions?
How much time do you have? One thing I'll admit to is anti-depressants work for me.
I ran out right before payday and thought I would be OK for a few days until I got my prescription refilled. I could tell immediately that I needed to get it refilled ASAP.

If you had $1000 dollars to spend on yourself how would you spend it?
Hmmm. That's hard. I would like to say I'd take a vacation, but I think I would need more than $1,000. I would buy the family a Wii and lots of games. I'd like a new computer and printer. I would need a lot more $.

Favorite thing about your house?
The people who live in it

Least favorite thing about your house?
It never stays clean and it's in West Arco (haha)

One thing you are bad at?
Saving money

One thing you are good at?
Making a dufous out of myself

If you could change one thing about your circumstances, what would it be?
My son Jaxon would be here with us

Who would you like to meet someday?
The Savior

What makes you feel sexy?
Not sure (I have four kids)

Who is your real life hero?
My beautiful son Jaxon

What is the hardest part of your job?
Being away from my kids

When are you most relaxed?
Laying in bed with my kids eating ice cream and watching a movie

What can you not live without?
My Family

Ryan said "Things/stuff, more things more stuff. Filling every possible space available. The love of her kids."

What stresses you out?
Living payday to payday

Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists?
I had to look this up....
(Narcissism describes the trait of excessive self-love, based on self-image or ego.)
If talking about your kids and being proud to be their Mama makes me a narcissist then I'd say I agree.

Why do you blog?
It's my journal...and I don't have time to scrapbook lately so I use it to document life's events.

Who are you tagging?
Melody Ross, Kimberly Sorenson, Melissa Smith

We Love This Kid

2008-07-01T20:37:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about my nephew Koby today. He's going to have his tonsils out tomorrow. He has such a special place in my heart. He is such a sweet boy. I love talking to him and spending time with him. He always makes me laugh. He is the only boy in his family.I know he has a special mission on this earth. Whenever I'm near him I feel so close to the spirit. He is such an amazing person. Jaxon loves his cousin "Poby". Jacob adores Koby.

We tried calling him a couple different times today. Jacob really wanted to talk to him. Once Jacob got Uncle Rod on the phone and talked to him for a minute. Rod said he'd tell Koby, Jacob called when he got home. Then as we were driving home tonight, Koby called my cell phone. I had a sweet conversation with him. I told him how much we loved him and were thinking of him. Jake talked to him and told him we would pray for him and he loved him. Marli talked to him too. She told him we would bring him ice cream. She asked him what Kamri was doing. They talked for a minute, and then she said he hung up.

I know Koby will feel so much better after a week or so. We really love him and are mindful of him. We pray all will go well. I know Jaxon will be by Koby's side watching over him. I'm grateful Uncle Rod can give him a Priesthood blessing. Koby we love you and hope you feel better really soon!

The Journey Of A Fat Boy

2008-06-30T10:55:00.001-06:00

Ryan worked Thursday night, he got home at 8:30 a.m. Friday morning. He mowed the grass. Laid down to sleep for a couple of hours. He got up, got ready for his journey to Kansas City Mo. He left town around 2:30 p.m. he stopped at 4:00 a.m. and slept for two hours. He made it to Kansas City sat afternoon. He rode the bike to make sure he loved it. He loaded everything up. He stayed the night in Lincoln Nebraska. He got home at 2:30 a.m. Monday.

He came in the house saying loudly it's me. We all woke up and hugged him. We were surprised to see him. I didn't expect him until Monday afternoon. He brought us all presents. He went to Cabella's in Nebraska. When he used to drive truck for Doug Andrus he went to the same Cabella's and brought Jaxon a shirt. Jacob was really missing his dad Saturday night before bed. He was bawling. We couldn't get a hold of Ry, so we left him a message. The kids took turns sleeping with me.

I'll get some pictures of Ry on his bike and post them later. I can't believe he made it there and back in 60 hours. It's 3000 miles. Wow! I'm so proud of him. He set a goal and worked hard to make it happen. The guy he bought the bike from sent him home with $1200 worth of extras like leathers for him and me, extra seat, extra tire and a bunch of other stuff. Way to go Idaho!

Yard Sale

2008-06-30T09:19:00.000-06:00

Saturday I had a yard sale it was supposed to be 8-12. Call me dumb. I agreed to do a neighborhood yard sale back in May. There were twelve houses that were part of the madness. We each paid $2.00 for the ad in the post register and for the signs.

When I agreed to do it,I looked at Ryan's schedule and he was off.I've been cleaning out room by room over the last couple months and had quite a bit of stuff. Well Ryan left Friday afternoon for Kansas City. I was left to do the yard sale alone with three little ones. Not my idea of fun. My friend Nikki brought her stuff over Friday night. People in the neighborhood were out and I made $20 Friday night. My neighbor Sydney said people should have yard sales at night. People are out and it's cooler. I was up until 12:30 getting things set up. Saturday 6:30 came way too fast. At 7:30 I made my first sale. There were a few nice people. The weirdest part of the day was when this big female ( I would say lady,but she was no lady)loaded up a ton of scrap booking stuff. She offered me $5 I looked at her and said No that's over $40 worth of stuff. I said how about $15? She threw the stuff at me and started swearing. I laughed. Her and her mother got in their car and swore at me as they drove off. I had a couple people talking to me like Jakey's T-ball coach from last year (Kristy Bialas's sister). They couldn't believe how crazy some people are. Another lady paid me for a chalkboard/dry erase art board and never came back to pick it up. I left it outside for her. I'm thinking she forgot where my house is. Crazy!

Some friends stopped by and asked if they could bring their stuff over. They did and then left. I did a good job of keeping track on a notepad of what I sold for different people. I think it was way too much work to make $157.00. Nikki and her girls came over at 11:30 after the girls swim meet. At 11:50 we left the girls in charge and Nikki and I rode bikes through the neighborhood seeing who was involved with the sale and what they had left. We bought a few treasures from a couple friends. We went back to my house cleaned up. Anything left over went in bags. Jaimie came and picked everything up loaded up his truck and donated it to the D.I.

After everything was put away the kids and I ran a few errands. We picked up pizza from Papa Murphy's and called it a day. We had a fun time at home. The kids were so good for me. I was really impressed with them. Conor loved being outside. I was grateful it was Saturday morning, because the kids watched cartoons for most of the morning. I hope I never have another yard sale for as long as I live.

Happy Fathers Day

2008-06-24T23:52:00.000-06:00

I know Fathers Day was June 15th, but I figure better late than never. That seems to be my motto lately.

The kids and I got Ry a money clip that we had engraved. One side has his initials and the other side has #1 DAD. He asked for a money clip awhile ago after he lost$20.
He told us that with his insulin pump in his pocket he looses money when he pulls it out. I wanted to put a bunch of $ in the clip, but funds were low so I made him a IOU instead. I picked out a nice shirt for him too. I was pleasantly surprised when he liked the shirt. We celebrated Fathers Day on Saturday because he had to work on Sunday. My parents were over for dinner and my brother Kyle his wife Lesley and their five month old daughter Ella were here from Provo. It was a pretty special time because this is my brothers first Fathers Day. Sunday while Ryan was at work we went to my parents for a BBQ.

The Etm Expo

2008-06-24T16:40:00.000-06:00

Friday and Saturday was the ETM expo at the shilo here in I.F. My Friend Devon and I had a great time. We both needed this little retreat. She had her thyroid removed two weeks ago. She's doing extremely well. She has twins that are three, Walker (boy) Jordyn (girl). Our kids love to play together. Which is good because Devon and I love to hang out. She is a stamp'in up demonstrator and is so crafty. I hope that a little bit of it rubs off on me each time we're together.

Here's a couple of the projects we made at the expo. This layout was so fun to make. I haven't journaled on it yet, but it's title is "A day in the life of me". Which was cool because not to often do we scrapbook ourselves.
This frame was a project Roberts art and frame taught. So cute love the colors on this one. It has a picture of a guy riding a Harley. I'll have to replace that with a picture of Ry on his when he gets back from Kansas City. This was a fun file folder album we made it was taught by Alicia King the owner of scrapalicious
Our family memories sponsored by heartstrings designs

They had fun give aways and prizes and grand prizes. Funny thing Devon kept winning the same kit by heartstrings designs...she won four different times and each time it was the same kit. I helped her trade some for thing other ladies won. The gal sitting next to me won the GRAND prize a pink scrap tote suitcase thing valued at $140 from Roberts. She was pretty excited. They did a dance contest in place of Melody's talk. Pretty funny. I'm just grateful I wasn't drawn as one of the dancers. Whooh! As we were doing our projects the ladies that were helping Kim from ETM would come by with scrap goodies and fill our huge bag. My cute girl Christy Tomlison stopped by with a special give away from Chatterbox courtesy of Melody. I get Christy's scarlet lime kit each month and it's so eclectic and fun. She puts together things I would never dream of and it works so pretty. Christy is kind of famous she is published in all the scrap mags. She works for Better homes and Gardens and just recently moved back to Shelley from Boise as she resigned from Chatterbox as a designer. She is so much fun and reminds me of Melody so much. She is so humble and down to earth. If you have time check out her blog. Well that's it in a scrap shell. I know I'm a dork!

It's Official

2008-06-24T16:17:00.000-06:00

Summer has definitely begun! Every year I buy the kids a new swimming pool. It's just easier to throw the old one away at the end of summer, than to store it all year. I think this year the pool is the favorite one so far. It took me forever to get it all blown up and put together. Even with the help of the air compressor.

I know I'm crazy, I do it every year....buckets and buckets and 7 to be exact of HOT water. I carry these to the pool so the kids have somewhat of a warm pool. I usually make sure it's not freezing before I say OK that's enough. However it is HOT out today 88 actually so I think they'll survive if it's only lukewarm. (Jacob took this picture of me)
Marli said her favorite is the flower that's a sprinkler. Can You see barbie floating by in the background? Marli made me go find a boy barbie so her doll could have a boy to play with. Like her and Jakey.

Jacob likes the slide.

2008-06-24T16:16:00.000-06:00

I took this picture for fun...I told Jake to pull up his swim shorts and he said why mom. He didn't believe me that you could see his bum. When I showed it to him he laughed so hard and asked me if I was going to put it on the blog. Well here it is. He said mom that's so funny, your always telling Mar to pull her pants up and you got me. Hahaha! I laughed so hard watching him look at the picture of himself. He cracks me up. No pun intended.

Jake was having a blast taking pictures of Marli and me.

In case anyone is wondering where Conor was when we were having such a good time outside. I took his picture so you can see for yourselves. He had a big day today.( Papa Bill picked Jake and Marli up at 8:30 for pre-school, so I wouldn't have to go out so early. He's the best Nanny anyone could ever have. His pay is pretty reasonable too. He's always asking me what he can do to help. If I tell him nothing we're ok, he just tells me Ok and finds someway to help me. I'm so grateful he is always so willing to help in any way he can. He's constantly bringing us new water jugs for our water cooler from Culligans. Running the kids to their activities. Tending the kids while I'm at work. Working on our cars. The list goes on and on. I love my dad and am so thankful he thinks it's fun to hang out with his best friends...Jaxon, Jacob, Marli and now Conor!) I took Conor for a nice stroller ride through our neighborhood. He went visiting teaching with me. I have a new partner and all new ladies, since our ward was split a month ago. Than we went and picked the kids up from Mrs. Di's. Marli wanted Artic circle for lunch, so we went through the drive thru for her. Jake wanted Burger King, So we went there. We washed the car at Cardons. Where Conor freaked out. It scared him half to death. After a couple more stops we went to Reed's dairy for milk, Cheese curds and ice cream. When we finally made it home he had had enough.

2008-06-24T15:14:00.000-06:00

The kids thought it was hilarious that they were getting me wet. I laughed along with them. It felt good, but I wasn't going to let them know that. I love Summer and am so thankful it's officially here....finally!

More fun pictures taken by Jakey

This is what I saw when I went in the house to check on my little guy ....zonked out

Weekend Update

2008-06-23T10:15:00.000-06:00

WARNING..............This post is Long!

We had a productive weekend. Friday Ryan let me sleep in and he got up with the kids. I really needed that extra rest. When I got up I emailed my friend Melody to see what time she would be in I.F. from Boise. She emailed me back saying to call her. I called her and found out she wasn't coming. Her eleven year old daughter Madi had a bad accident. She was running through the yard, when she stepped on a rake that was face up. The rake went completely through her foot. They had her at the hospital. I was so sad that I wouldn't be able to spend time with my friend. I was also so sad that her family had to take on another trial. She asked me if I would stay with my child or go to the Scrapbook convention she was the keynote speaker at. I told her she was definitely doing the right thing. She has sacrificed so much in her life. She has had to juggle so much with marriage, family her business. The conference would go on without her, no matter how much the ladies wanted to meet her. Her daughter Madi needed her mom.The doctors couldn't sew up Madi's foot because the hole was so big. She'll have to have surgery on her foot. Their hoping she will be able to keep her toe. Madi is such a fun girl. When I've taken the kids over to Boise to stay with Melody and her family, Madi is so much fun. She helps me with the kids and is so good to them. She's a free spirit and dances around the house and is such a joy to be around. Were praying for her!

Melody & Me

Marq & Melody

Melody & me

Look how little Marli is. Madi is the pretty girl in orange, the other beauty is Mallory, Melody's older daughter. Then there is Max making a silly face and Mitch. Jacob's in there too.

I went back on Mel's blog and found this entry she did awhile back on Miracles :
Lori and I met about 12 years ago at a seminar.....we both went gung-ho into selling health magnets (don't ask....) anyway...she lived on the other side of the state and the big conference was here in big old Boise.....and we met....and we totally fell in girlfriends-forever love with each other...........and then the bottom fell out of the health magnet market. (you heard about that, right?) and we both went our separate ways with magnetic insoles in our shoes....and years went by...and for a few years wrote back and forth emailing longingly............then, January 2006 we decided we couldn't wait any longer and she got in her car and drove 5 hours to see me!!!! It was absolutely wonderful....she was in the Pitts and needed a boost...and we had a blast....and she remembered her goals that weekend and started up on her big dreams again......
.....well, she knew I was looking for a miracle....and some fun.....my FUN CHALLENGE...and she showed up on Friday morning....and MAN did I ever need her..............and, we had the BEST weekend....so, see....I was expecting difficulty, I had my teeth gritted...I was ready to take it on....and then, through the door comes this little message from Heaven that there's always light in the darkness.........these are pictures from our January visit...and I know that miracles will happen again.
So....keep on expecting miracles.....keep on keepin' on as my friend, Joe Dirt says. Miracles will always come....even if they're small, they really are BIG....big enough to change everything.

I love her outlook on life. She was one of the most influencial people in me being baptized and joining the LDS church. She came and stayed with us when Ryan and I went through the Idaho Falls temple to be sealed for time and eternity. I knew her way before she was the CEO of Chatterbox. Ryan and I would stay at her home every first weekend of the month for silver training. I loved watching her with her kids. She has always been my role model. I didn't have kids yet when we would stay with her. I always wanted to be just like her when I had kids. She's such a fun mom. Se loves her family so much. I'm grateful to call her friend. She is going through some major ugliness right now. She has this amazing strength that I know will pull her through. I really wanted to spend time with her and recharge her battery. I know I need to pack up the family and take a road trip soon to see her.

So the scrapbook expo was awesome. My friend Devon and I made five projects sat from 8:00 a.m until 1:00 p.m. we had lunch with Betsy and then I ran a few errands and was headed home. Ry called me and was craving a cheeseburger from the Snakebite. I got a to go order and took it home. I was exhausted from scrapping. Conor and I took a two hour nap. When I got up it was time to take on the organizing for next weekends yard sale. Ryan found a great deal on a Harley, so we needed to clean out the garage..big time. Ryan signed a contract a year ago with some friends and co-workers that he would buy a motorcycle by a certain date. Anyone who doesn't comply has to pay $500. He's been looking for over a year now. A guy he works with found him a awesome bike for the right price. Only catch is it's in Kansas City Mo. It belongs to this guys father-in-law. Ryan is working nights this week. So Friday when he gets home he's headed for a 18 hour journey to pick up his HARLEY. Man was he motivated to get the garage cleaned out and organized. We worked so hard. The basement is cleaned out and so is the garage. Ry took a truck load of stuff to the dumps today. My dad is so excited Ry is getting a bike, so they can ride together. Papa Bill was looking for the right bike for Ry. He stopped by the house with a really pretty blue bike. Ry took me for a ride on it. It was fun.

Friday night we watched the movie the Bucket list. So good!

Jacob got hit in between the eyes on his forehead with a stick, Marli accidentally chucked. It was a accident and she felt really bad. Jake has a pretty bad cut, but assures me he's fine.

We had a fire in our fire pit sat. night and roasted marshmallows. The smores were so yummy. We all smelt like camp fire.

I'm grateful for all that I accomplished this weekend. I cleaned out eight Rubbermaid tubs of stuff. Cleaned out my closet. Organized the kids closets. Cleaned and organized the pantry. Wow I'm tired just thinking about it all.

This morning I got up with Conor at 6:00. I went back to sleep. I was dreaming of being a pioneer when something in the dream startled me. I woke up my alarm clock was blinking, not good. I looked at my watch it was 8:15. That's what time I'm supposed to leave the house. I jumped out of bed screaming. Luckily Ry was home and able to help me get everyone ready. On the way to work I called Dr. Fred and told him I would be late. He told me to relax and it would be fine. I got a hold of my dad and asked him to meet me at my office to pick the kids up. He said no problem. He asked me to bring bottles for Conor, he didn't have any at the house. I hung up with him and called Ry. He said he could run bottles over to Papa Bill after he went to the dumps. Good thing I didn't have to turn around. What a Monday! The kids have a T-ball game at 11:00. I'm hoping to leave work early tonight. I'm pretty exhausted! All in all it was a great weekend. We BBQsome good eats and spent some quality time as a family!

Conor James Eight Months Old

2008-06-22T21:41:00.000-06:00

Conor is such a sweet, happy baby. He mimics Jacob and Marli's sounds. He says "Hey" when someone new walks in the room. He has two teeth on the bottom. Well actually one is totally in and the second is 85% in. His second tooth has really been giving him trouble. We've had a couple nights that nothing soothed the pain. Conor rolls to almost anywhere he wants to. He tries really hard to crawl. His arms know what their doing, however his legs haven't a clue yet. It won't be long before he is on the go. He does this funny fish out of water thing, where he's laying on his stomach and his arms and legs are out and he moves them up and down really fast. It reminds me of a yoga move. It's hilarious. We are really enjoying Conor. He loves to be held and snuggled.

Today Conor was laying on my bed in between a bunch of pillows drinking a bottle. I ran downstairs to throw a load of laundry in the dryer. I heard a huge thud and a scream. I ran to him and he had fallen off my bed and was laying on his stomach. He some how managed to get out from where I had blocked him in with all the pillows and rolled off the bed, taking two of the big pillows with him. I felt so bad. I scooped him up and he cried pretty hard for a few minutes. We won't be leaving him anywhere alone ever again.

I can not believe my little chubs is eight months old today. It seems like last week we were waiting his arrival. I think of all Conor has done for our family. He really is a tremendous blessing. I feel his mission here on Earth is to heal our families broken hearts from the loss of his sweet brother Jaxon. In the last couple months I have witnessed Ryan bond with his son and his heart beginning to soften. I have felt my own heart fill with unconditional love for this sweet boy and see a remarkable resemblance between Conor and Jaxon. I know the dream I had before Conor was born is a blessing from my Father in Heaven. Jaxon needed a helper and he picked Conor. I'm grateful that all my pain and suffering being pregnant with this sweet boy is so totally and completely worth it. We love you Conor!

Lite-Brite

2008-06-04T14:24:00.000-06:00

Last Wednesday I was at a purse party when my cell phone rang. It was Ryan. Apparently Marli swallowed a lite brite bulb. Leave it to Marli. A nurse was at the house where I was and said it'd be ok. Ryan did call and talk to a doctor who basically said to watch for her to pass it. Marli was a little freaked out about it when I got home I hugged her and she said "Mom is the hospital going to cut me open to get it out"? I told her I didn't think so. Ryan had a big talk with her about when she went potty to tell us so we could see if she well ya know. She forgot and flushed the toilet before we could look. We'll never know. My mom always told us we got stupider as we got older. Kind of proves her point. Oh Miss Marli we love you and all your goofyness!

Summer?

2008-06-04T10:40:00.000-06:00

Summer where are you? It's June 4th and it looks like April outside. Jacob and Marli started T-ball yesterday. They have 12 kids on their team. My dear friend Kristi Bialis is the coach. We had a early morning practice at 9:00 a.m in the brutal wind and light rain showers. The kids are doing a summer reading program with Mrs. Di. So right after T-ball we rushed to Mrs. Di's house. I'm hoping it warms up soon.

Conor is on the move. I was making my cards for my monthly card swap last night, when little Chubs (I know that's a oxymoron)was playing on the floor in my scrap room. He spotted some plastic paper bags and was on the move to get them. He scooted his heart out until he reached them. I put some blocks out for him and he was loving going from one side of the room to the next to reach them. He has his first tooth coming in. It's 75% in. It's on the bottom right side. I just want my baby to stay this age forever. He loves to talk to us and smile and just is so happy. I am loving him so much right now.

I finally broke down yesterday and got four new tires on my car. My dad was putting air in my rear driver tire every few days for the last month or so. The two front ones were pretty bald. Just like my cute hubby!

I'm so excited I talked to my best friend Melody last night she's coming over on the 20th with her family to visit us. The kids are so excited to see each other. It'll be the first time in forever that Ry will see them. We can't wait.

I have so many photos of what we've been up to the last couple weeks. My computer is not wanting to load them however. I'll get it figured out soon.

The Five Finger Prayer

2008-05-15T11:53:00.001-06:00

Five Finger Prayer....This is so neat. I had never heard this before. This is beautiful - and it is surely worth making the 5 finger prayer a part of our lives.

1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you.. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."

2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers , doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president no matter how you voted, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

Don't tell God how big your storm is, Tell the storm how big your God is!!!
It only takes a single thought to move the world; let that be love!

Three weeks Later

2008-05-14T16:45:00.000-06:00

Seriously where does the time go? I haven't even thought about blogging lately. Life has been so busy. Today as I'm at work I realized I hadn't updated this blog in quite some time. Here's a brief update. Last Friday I had several tests done on my back. There's several spine specialist that are working together to see what they can come up with. I have gotten to the point where the pain is unbearable. I had a MRI a couple weeks back and there were a couple areas the doctor was concerned about. I went in for a CT scan which went way better than the MRI. The technician had to run a I.V. for the contrast. He was the same tech that did my MRI. He remembered me and was very nice. Before he started the contrast he told me three symptoms I may experience. First the contrast may make you warm and nauseous. Kind of like sitting in a hot car. Then a metallic taste in your mouth. Finally he said for lack of a medical term you may feel like you wet yourself. He said he had this done before and they didn't tell him and he was really embarrassed. He thought for sure he'd soaked the table. I made it through the scan and experienced all three symptoms. I was glad when it was over.

I had a appointment Monday with Dr. James Taylor. I was a little nervous. I thought I would be able to go back to work after the procedure. When I checked in at the hospital the nurse told me I wouldn't be able to go back to work. Ryan dropped me off and would pick me up when I called him. I had twelve different injections. The test was diagnostic as well as for pain relief. I laid on a table under a x-ray machine for close to two hours. The doctor looks at each segment of my spine on the x-ray and then on the right side where most of the pain is coming he would do the injections. He explained to me the reason for using the x-ray machine was to stay away from the spinal cord. He can see precisely where he wants to put the needle on the xray. I take x-rays at my office so I knew exactly what he was talking about when he would use medical terminology. Half way through the doctor told me he couldn't believe how strong I was and that he didn't think he would ever let anyone do this to him. That didn't make me feel real good. The numbing shots hurt so bad. The purpose was to find the facet joints and fill them with steroids as well as pain medicine. If it helped then the doctors could say it was joint pain in my back and go from there.The joints are so small that they could only do a little at a time. It hurt so bad! My neck was killing me from all the injections. When it was over the nurse helped me up. She said I was pasty and to not stand up for a bit. I had a reaction to something and my chest and arm broke out. After a hour I was OK. The nurse kept telling me she was so impressed at how well I did. She said repeatedly " You are one strong lady". I was proud of myself that I didn't swear. Ryan was waiting in the waiting room for me. The injections helped slightly. My pain level went from a 9 to a 6 on a scale from 1-10...ten being the worst.

Jacob and Marli had their Outback field trip yesterday. I was able to take them as well as three of their classmates. I had five cutie pies in my car. We had so much fun. My friend Michelle Vandyke-Hernandez's little boy Bryson came with us. He's in Jacob's "Dude's club". His grandparents were our neighbors when we lived on Circle S. John and Carol Vandyke. Bryson's cousin Austin is 9 and he was Jaxon's friend. My brother Kyle worked with Michelle at Wall to Wall carpet. We're going to get the boys together over the summer.

Marli has here big dance recital tonight at the Civic Auditorium. Last night was the rehearsal. Ryan and Jacob mowed the lawn and played video games while I took Marli and Conor to the Civic. I was glad I brought the stroller. We were there for a hour and a half.When we were leaving I was talking to my friend Stacy. Marli told us "I danced my little heart out". Thankfully Marli performs twice in the first act. At intermission tonight we can leave. Last year we went to watch our friends girls perform and we were there until 10:00 p.m. I have to work tomm. so I'm hoping to get home before 9;00. I was happy to hear that Dance Tech is having a professional video it so I can just sit back and enjoy the performances.

The kids have been doing pretty good. We had the stomach flu come through our house with a vengeance. Conor was the only one who didn't get it. I had my carpets cleaned after everyone was feeling better.

Mothers day was nice. I was able to have breakfast with my mom and spend part of the day with her. Ryan and the kids got me the new book Host that I wanted by Stephanie Meyers. I stayed up Saturday night until 2:00 a.m. making cards. I went upstairs to get a drink of water thinking it was midnight. I couldn't believe what time it was when I looked at the clock. I made myself go to bed even though I wasn't tired. We had a great time with Ryan's family Sunday afternoon. The 10x20 picture of all eleven grand kids turned out beautiful. Ryan's Mom really loved it. We missed Mark, Erin and Luke. They were sick.

We needed to stop by my mom's on the way home. Ryan was going the wrong way. I asked him where he was going. He told me not to worry about it. I was confused for a minute and then I realized where he was taking me. He told me my other son wanted to see me. He took me up to the cemetery to see Jaxon. I hadn't been up there for awhile. I always have a really hard time on Mothers Day. I was able to spend some time alone there. I could feel Jax with me. I miss him so much and wish so badly we could have him here with our family. Ryan told me he felt prompted to take me to see Jax and said it's the least he could do for his son. Which meant the world to me.

We got a new BBQ because ours died. Ryan told me it was for Mothers day. He BBQ Rib eye steaks Monday night so I guess it was a gift for me. I do love steak. We had homemade hash browns and corn on the cob .

The kids have their pre-school graduation next Friday the 23rd which is my birthday. It will be a special day. It'll be the third time Jacob graduates from pre-school. He is actually graduating for real this time and will start kindergarten at Ethel Boyes Elementary this Fall. Mrs. Di is doing a summer program for a few kids. Jacob and Marli are going to be in the program. It will be a fun program that she is going to play learning games with the kids and get them reading. It's just two days a week. Hopefully it won't be the same day as T-ball. Marli told me she wants to take swim lessons again. I told her maybe this fall when Jakey is in school. She will go to pre-school two days a week instead of three . She'll have dance Friday morning instead of Tuesday afternoon which should take some stress off of me.

Conor has been rolling all over the place and sits up for short periods. He loves to sit in the highchair at meal time and eat. He tells us off if we don't share with him. He thinks he's such a big boy.He knows the difference between baby food and what we eat. Lately he's started telling us off. I'll give him small bites of bread, potato,pasta or other soft foods. He smacks his lips and tells us it's good. He is so much fun. He's starting to say dadda. Whenever he see's his dad he lights up. He laughs and jumps and wants his dad.

My best friend Macy just stopped by the office and she brought her baby girl Maya. I can't believe she is three weeks old already. She finally has a baby that looks like her. She looks exactly like Macy. Linda Macy's mom said she feels a special connection to Maya. She said it brings back a lot of memories of Macy as a baby. I love her whole family. They have been such wonderful Friends to me over the years.

Alright I better get my work done so I can leave to go get Miss Marli ready for her recital.

Fun Times On Simon Street

2008-04-23T17:38:00.000-06:00

I have really been enjoying the kids and trying to keep them occupied with fun activities. We've been baking chocolate peanut butter chip cookies. Yummy!

Jacob loved the Vanilla bottle and he was the one who got to add it to the batter.
I told him it was special vanilla our friend Linda got us when she went to Mexico. He thought it was even cooler.

Conor LOVES to pull his sister's hair. She is always telling him "No, No Conor don't pull your sister's hair"! He just smiles at her.

Today on the way to my office Jacob was riding in the front with me. He asked me what's electricity? I said I know who to call. Papa Bill is an electrician and he has the answer for that one. I dialed my dad's work #. I was surprised when someone other then my dad answered the phone. I asked if Bill was available. When the guy said yeah. I told him Bill's Grandson had a question for him. When he got on the phone Jacob said "Hi Grandpa,it's Jacob. I'm going to school. I have a question for you . What's electricity?" Papa must have been busy. He told Jake they would talk about it when he sees him next. I was surprised Jake said OK and said" I love you bye".
No matter what the kids are playing they always go over by Conor and talk, sing, or play with him. He loves the attention so much.
Marli is always asking to hold her baby. She does such a wonderful job of helping out and being a big sister.
I made french toast for dinner a couple weeks ago . We all love it except Jake. He's not into pancakes or waffles or french toast. I tried to explain to him that he loves scramble eggs and that's all french toast is bread dipped in the egg batter. Ryan and I finally talked him into trying it. He surprised us when.....

he dipped it in his catsup from his eggs. GROSS!!! He laughed and said "MOM, you have got to try this. It's so good"! So trying to teach him to have a open mind I tried it. Guess what it wasn't bad.

Marli....I really don't even know what to say. She keeps us all laughing. She's always entertaining us with her goofey'ness. I'm so grateful she is such a free spirit.
I came across this precious picture. We took baby Conor to Bob & Jo' s when he was three days old. Conor was laying on their couch. Marli kept loving on her baby.
Conor looks at Marli and kind of studies her . He doesn't know quite how to handle her. When she's wild he'll close his eyes and pull away from her. Then she'll be so sweet and gentle with him and he lights up.

Conor loves to lay on the floor and stretch out. I swaddle him so tight at night to get him to sleep good. When he wakes up if he can get his hand or arm out of the blanket he will not go back to sleep. He thinks he needs to eat. In the morning when I unwrap him he gets so excited. He stretches out and grins so big!
Conor's trying to move around. He'll push off anything he can dig his knees or feet into. He rolls from stomach to back really well. He can roll from his back to side and then on to stomach if he sees something he wants to grab and put in his mouth.

We've been playing with lots of play dough and cookie cutters and making our own way to have fun with it. Jacob made a fishing pole with his purple play dough yesterday. We've been painting and doing some fun arts and crafts too. Using the abundance of craft supplies I have in my craft room. Yesterday the kids found water guns in Jake's toy box. Before I filled them up with water I explained to the kids...there are three things you can not squirt OK? People, cars and animals. They agreed and off they went . They had a blast. No one came in screaming or bawling. They got more wet from my neighbors sprinkler than their water guns.

One Crazy Monday

2008-04-23T01:20:00.000-06:00

Monday was a very Crazy day. I was so busy at work. It's always nice when it's busy and I have tons to do it makes it worth it to me to be there and away from my kids. I love my patients and love what I do. We treated over fifty patients and had five new patients. The phone never stopped ringing and people who we hadn't seen in ages kept walking in . It was just Dr. Fred and I there all day and it was so good to finally be back in the right frame of mind to help others. It's always interesting to me when I think about certain people and wonder how their doing when they call or show up out of the blue. I like to think of it as the Universe is in tune with me and not that I've jinxed them and then they are suddenly in pain and need a treatment. I worked ten hours and then picked the kids up and my day started all over. Ryan is working nights right now. Its pretty brutal on me having to do it all when he's not here at the end of a long day. I just have to remember to breathe and make a list for him to do on his four days off. I know I can't do it all and am getting better at asking for help. I was unloading the car and trying to get the kids to eat dinner when Marli disappeared for a bit. It's pretty embarrassing that I have the hiccups and Conor is screaming throughout this video. I couldn't resist sharing what my daughter has just discovered....doing her own hair. Marli has her very own baffroom now so she says. Jacob was pretty excited this weekend to tell his sister "It's official this is no longer your bathroom"! I moved all her things to the bathroom downstairs. She is loving life right now as you can see by this crazy video. She doesn't want me to help her anymore. She likes to brush her teeth and put the toothpaste on by herself. Pick out her outfits. Finally as of Monday do her own hair. Alicia Keyes watch out Marli Smith is taking on her own style! Wish me Luck...I'm definitely going to need it!

Eternity The Short Version

2008-04-23T01:16:00.000-06:00

OK so for those of you you haven't yet seen Miss Marli dance here's a little clip for you. This is pretty entertaining. I had a sweet little white haired lady and Mrs. Stephanie right in my view. Not on purpose by any means. I didn't take my video camera, but have found that my digital camera does a good enough job.The only bad part is it uses up my battery pretty fast. Marli is in the very front and center. Thankfully this is the short version. Enjoy!

You Can Dance...If You Want To

2008-04-23T01:04:00.000-06:00

Marli had the opportunity to dance for some very special Grandma's & Grandpa's. Dance tech was invited to Lincoln Court retirement home to dance for the residents. They asked that only one parent bring each dancer, because of lack of room. Ryan stayed home with the boys. It was so fun to go on a date with my beautiful daughter. She was so excited. She kept asking me "Mom do you think I'm beautiful"? She sat in the front seat on the way there and had the visor down looking at her gorgeous self. I love that she has so much self confidence.

I begged her to let me take her picture before we left the house. This is in our driveway in front of the car as we were headed out.

This is the first time her class performed with the pants and tap shoes as well as their tutu and ballet shoes. They performed their ballet dance "Eternity" first then went and changed into their pants and tap shoes while other classes performed. Pretty exciting! Marli watched her teacher Mrs. Stephanie and kept a smile on her face and followed along perfectly. I'm glad she enjoys dance so much. She is always singing and dancing around the house or where ever she may be.

Conor Your So Silly

2008-04-22T21:08:00.000-06:00

I was downstairs folding laundry and Conor was loving laying on the floor playing with his feet. You can tell why I turned the video off fairly soon. Jacob and Marli were having a sword fight upstairs. Too bad I can't edit my voice out as well as their obnoxious screaming, so all you could hear is sweet little Conor's voice and laugh. Oh well real life is just that I suppose...Real!

This One's For You CareBear & Uncle Jim

2008-04-22T15:09:00.000-06:00

Remember about six months ago when you got baby Conor some special socks? Well I put them on today and they almost fit. They're still a little big. I have been waiting for the day I could put them on his feet. You and I both know why they are special! We love you sweetheart !!!

I thought of Firefighter Uncle Jim when I got this onesie for Conor!

You guys can come over anytime and play footsies!

Conor Is Six Months Old

2008-04-22T13:44:00.000-06:00

Conor's six months old today! Half a year already. It doesn't seem possible. We have enjoyed him so much. He's finally sleeping through the night. We put him to bed at 8:30 and he sleeps until 6:30. He started eating baby food. He eats half a small bottle of a vegetable and half a bottle of fruit for lunch and then again for dinner. So far he's had peas, sweet potatoes, carrots, pears, applesauce and banana's. He doesn't have a favorite. He just gets so excited when he See's the little spoon coming towards him. He keeps us smiling.

Conor loves his bed. He kicks and tries so hard to roll over when we lay him down. He is constantly grabbing his feet and toes. His favorite thing is to not have his feet covered with socks or anything and he grabs his toes and talks to them. He tries so hard to get them to his mouth. All it takes to get him going is for me to say "I see piggies, I see Piggy toes"

I love these P.J.'s on little man. Conor looks like he's ready to play some baseball. One, two, three touch your toes and "whine up"!
Don't let him fool you...he looks like he's ready to take a nap, but it'll pass in less than ten minutes. All the other kids would take two long naps. One in the morning like at 10:00 and sleep for a hour and a half. Then one around 1:30 in the afternoon and sleep for two hours. Conor takes a twenty minute "Cat Nap". If he hears any noise at all he's wide awake.

Makes me wonder why Heavenly Father sent him last!?! Because he is such a light sleeper. He hears everything. He acts like he may miss out on something. We all know how quiet his sister Miss Marli is. Hahahah!!!! It's pretty impossible to get Conor to nap when Marli is in the same zip code.

Meet Mr. Delicious! He is such a yummy little guy! I absolutely adore him!
Conor LOVES his baths. He gets so excited when I take him in the bathroom and he sees the water in his little tub. I love to pour water on him and watch his little fingers grab for the water. He Oooohs and Aaahaas when the warm water covers him. He never cries when I wash his head. He knows to close his eyes and mouth.
Marli is constantly hugging and loving "Her Baby"!
Jacob loves to use his brother as a adventure. He uses the laundry basket for a space shuttle. Conor lets Jake and Marli do whatever they want with him. He just watches them and smiles. He loves the attention.

Conor is one happy little guy. He loves music and loves to have people sing to him. When he gets fussy we just need to find some music or make our own and he is happy!
His brother and sister are quite fond of him.
He is very ticklish! He loves it when Daddy "Gets Him"!

Conor is always observing his surroundings.
He loves to laugh and make us laugh. The harder we laugh, the harder he laughs. He'll snort when he gets laughing.

Sometimes he seems so serious. I wonder what he thinks about. I watch him and am jealous of what he might possibly be looking at. Angels? Brother Jaxon? I know Jaxon is always close by. I have a picture of Jax in these same Jammie's swinging in this same swing.
He loves a good "Cookie"!

Oh Bubby...we love you! Thank you for being so brave and coming to our family. Also Thanks for putting up with your crazy family!

Daddy Blabbering With Conor

2008-04-20T23:00:00.000-06:00

I came across this video Ryan took with my digital camera. It's from a few weeks ago when he was watching the kids and I was at work. This video made me smile. Ry is so good at making Conor happy. When Conor sees his Dad he lights up and tries so hard to talk to him. It's been nice for the kids to be able to spend time with their Dad. I think it's nice to give my parents a break, and for Ryan to see what it's like to have three kids to take care of. He hasn't had to take care of them for more than a few hours at a time. We need to break him in gently!

The Good Brother & Mickey Mouse

2008-04-20T22:36:00.000-06:00

Please Take A Minute To Pray

2008-04-17T21:06:00.000-06:00

I just read this email from my friend Kim Rose. She owns the local scrapbook store Express The Moment (formerly the scrapcoop). She's been a great friend to me over the years and I appreciate all of you praying for her nephew. Thanks!

Express the Moment
557 S. Woodruff
Idaho Falls, Id 83401
208-552-4847
http://www.expressthemoment.com
kim@expressthemoment.com

Business Hours: Mon. - Fri. 10:00 am - 6:00 pm Sat.10:00 am - 7:00 pm

Prayers NEEDED

I know that each of us receive e-mails, forwards, etc daily
about heart breaking situations. I am not one that usually
forwards these types of e-mails, but... this time I
am personally asking for your prayers.
My sweet nephew who is only 18 months old was
run over/hit by a car yesterday. He is the only son
of my baby sister Emily who lives in Phoenix.
My heart is full. It has been a emotional 24 hours for
our family. PLEASE take a minute today
and remember him in your prayers. I can't stand
the fact that we are here and she is so far a way. My
older sister Jen was able to fly in last night and is with
her now, but they still have a long road a head.
He had surgery yesterday and faces surgery again tom.
Please know I love and appreciate each of you for
thinking of him and sending support their way.

CLICK here to view Emily's blog for updates!
http://gobroncos-stephensfam.blogspot.com/