Happy Birthday to my little man! Ryan & I were talking today about how this was the BEST time in our lives. We waited 5 LONG years to get our little man. He was more beautiful than we could have ever dreamed of. It's so amazing to me how much I instantly LOVED him.
I came across this wind charm & ordered it for Jaxon's Birthday. We're going to go get Red & Purple balloons & take this & the balloons up to the cemetery today!
When I think of Heaven & I think of Jaxon this is what I picture! I think he'll have his beautiful bald hair at first so I can rub it & hug him so tight....then I picture his hair will be back exactly how it was before the cancer. I miss my BEST friend so much. I seriously can't believe he would be 11. It seems like a moment ago I was Pregnant with him & waiting patiently for his arrival. In this picture I am about to have Jacob. I'm so grateful Jaxon wanted a brother because Jakey & I have such an amazing relationship & he always makes me FEEL so incredibly close to Jaxon. Then for Jacob to pray & pray & pray faithfully for a brother & for us to be blessed with Conor is such a blessing. I see so many similarities in Conor & Jaxon. I have caught myself in complete AWE lately watching Conor grow & his personality is a lot like Jaxon's. It's bittersweet! In three months Conor will be exactly the same age as Jax was when he graduated from this life onto Bigger & Better things. I find myself not wanting to be away from my kids & I worry that I suffocate them sometimes. I don't want them to grow up & think their friends are more important than family. School starts in a week & I am really dreading it. We have had such a FUN summer. I am so grateful Jaxon was our first born & he will always be what keeps me going! I want to be with him forever! I love you so very much sweet boy!
I smile every time I think of this little man. I often find myself wishing for a lot of things...Mostly I wish for more time with him & I wish I had digital pictures of him.....LOTS & lots of pictures of him.
