Saturday, August 21, 2010

Happy Birthday Jax!!!



Happy Birthday to my little man! Ryan & I were talking today about how this was the BEST time in our lives. We waited 5 LONG years to get our little man. He was more beautiful than we could have ever dreamed of. It's so amazing to me how much I instantly LOVED him.

I came across this wind charm & ordered it for Jaxon's Birthday. We're going to go get Red & Purple balloons & take this & the balloons up to the cemetery today!


When I think of Heaven & I think of Jaxon this is what I picture! I think he'll have his beautiful bald hair at first so I can rub it & hug him so tight....then I picture his hair will be back exactly how it was before the cancer. I miss my BEST friend so much. I seriously can't believe he would be 11. It seems like a moment ago I was Pregnant with him & waiting patiently for his arrival. In this picture I am about to have Jacob. I'm so grateful Jaxon wanted a brother because Jakey & I have such an amazing relationship & he always makes me FEEL so incredibly close to Jaxon. Then for Jacob to pray & pray & pray faithfully for a brother & for us to be blessed with Conor is such a blessing. I see so many similarities in Conor & Jaxon. I have caught myself in complete AWE lately watching Conor grow & his personality is a lot like Jaxon's. It's bittersweet! In three months Conor will be exactly the same age as Jax was when he graduated from this life onto Bigger & Better things. I find myself not wanting to be away from my kids & I worry that I suffocate them sometimes. I don't want them to grow up & think their friends are more important than family. School starts in a week & I am really dreading it. We have had such a FUN summer. I am so grateful Jaxon was our first born & he will always be what keeps me going! I want to be with him forever! I love you so very much sweet boy!


I smile every time I think of this little man. I often find myself wishing for a lot of things...Mostly I wish for more time with him & I wish I had digital pictures of him.....LOTS & lots of pictures of him.



4 comments:

Francis Family said...

What sweet pictures and memories! Hope you had a happy day remembering it all :)

Kim Rose said...

I love you so much! You are such an inspiration! Jax is a reminder of why it is so important to stay strong. He is waiting for you and will run to his Mama with a big smile when the day comes for you to be together again. Been thinking of you so much. oxoxoxxoxo forever!

Melissa said...

Thanks for sharing such precious memories and pictures of sweet Jaxon! You are one STRONG mama!! Love you FOREVER!

sautterfamily said...

Thank you for reminding me of how sweet that boy was. I miss him so much and find myself thinking about him all the time August was so busy that I forgot about his bday but before that I was thinking of him and wishing I could see him again He was such a inspiration to me to do better in life and I will be forever grateful for him I love him with all my heart thank you lori for bringing him into my life and for you being in my life you are the best I miss you tons babe and I love you thanks again for bringing Jax into my life!!!