You Never Know...& a update

Today I had one of those Aha moments. I have been going through a really rough patch. I have felt completely overwhelmed & like no matter how hard I try...I am not doing my best. It's difficult to go to church each week without Ryan, but I am making a humungous effort to go & be consistent for the kids. Watching all the families that sit together & look like they have no trials or problems has always made me a little envious. Then today I was talking to a couple of dear patients and we had a huge heart to heart. That is when I had the Aha moment. You NEVER Know what someone is going through...you never know the trials they have had. It literally hit me like a ton of bricks...Ok Ok I get it now...finally!!! I'm extremely grateful for my support system that has been there for me & the kids always. There have been many times where they helped me get through the day, when there is no way I would have been able to by myself.

I know Ryan loves us & knows the church is true. All we can do is continue to pray for him & love him. He's a good dad. I just wish he didn't love his xbox so much. Ryan has been doing a lot better with his diabete. I was thinking about how difficult it would be to have to deal with being diabetic everyday. I work with an amazing girl named Kassidy. It was after working with her for a couple months when she finally tolda me she is diabetic. She is such a trooper. I have never seen her blood sugar low. I told her she inspires me in so many ways.

I love this card so much...it makes me so happy! So after 5 years with my stamp club I decided it was time to take a break. I am emberassed to admit this, but I have bags & bags & bags of new stamps & supplies that I ordered & have never put together or looked at. I am hoping by taking a break I will miss it & remember why I started it so many years ago. I have been in three different clubs & enjoy it. I just feel like right now life is so crazy busy & it can't be one of my priorities!

These beautiful people are my priority. I have had a heavy heart lately with all the devestating madness in the world. The school shooting in Connecticut truly ripped my heart out. I felt the worst anxiety. I didn't want to send the kids to school on Dec. 21st. It was there last day bedore Christmas break. There were rumors of bomb threats & different things. It was supposed to be the end of the world...because of the Mayan calnedar. I wanted to keep the kids home & protect them. I ended up with one of the worst migraines of my life from stress. I went to preschool with Mister Conor & helped with his Christmas party. It was a lot of fun. Then Conor & I went to Jacob & Marli's school. I felt peace at there school. I helped with both their class parties & was glad I was brave & sent them to school. I don't like feeling scared & unsafe. I think one of the hardest things as a parent is letting the kids be kids & not smothering them. If I could I would spend every second with them. I enjoy sleeping with them & spending time with them individually too. Each of the kids & I have our special shows that we DVR & watch together & have our little dates. I's grateful they like me & enjoy spending time with me. Lately I have felt like they are seriously growing up way too fast. I wish I could find a way to freeze them or time.

Mr. Jacob has been really into reading lately. He just finished the Hobbit & started the 1st Lord Of The Rings Books. He asked for the complete series for Christmas. Jacob Is playing basketball & enjoying being on a team. Jakey is OBSESSED with the show Duck Dynasty. It is one of the shows we DVR & watch together. He asked for a Duck Dynasty Duck call for Christmas...well they were on backorder. He just got it in the mail yesterday. He was SO EXCITED!!! He got a cool T-shirt & a Happy Happy Happy Mug signed by the owner. I'm grateful that he is always so sweet & appreciative. He is always reminding me to say family prayer at night. I'm so blessed to have him. He is a wonderful example to Marli & Conor & his parents!!!

Miss Marli has been playing basketball on two teams. She practices four to five times a week. She loves it & has been improving so much. One of the teams she is on is a 5th grade team. Her coach told me Marli is so coachable & she enjoys coaching her & watching her get better & better. It's so fun to watch her. It reminds me of when I was her age & how much I loved playing basketball.