Valentine Photo Shoot

My Friend Nikki had the kids over to her new studio for a Valentine photo shoot. Conor was not in the picture taking mood. He bawled forever. Nikki finally had me leave & her & Marli tried everything to get him to calm down. I ordered Valentines with the kids pictures on them to hand out to their friends. Here's a few of the pictures. She hasn't edited them or touched them up, but I asked her if I could go ahead & post them. She always does such a fantastic job. I'm having her help me put a 5 x 7 book together for Mothers day.




Marli is such a little poser. She loves getting her picture taken & taking pictures.

Nikki pulled out all her props for Conor. She was blowing bubbles like crazy. He was eating some candy & pointing at the bubbles. Don't leave me Mama!

Silly Boy!

Jakey was doing the best at listening to Nikki & doing exactly what she said.
Marli trying to comfort Conor. Jake was not impressed with Conor's outbreak!


He sure looks handsome from behind.

Boom Boom fire power!
Marli loves animals. She wanted to get her picture taken with one of Nikki's aunt's dogs.


Watch out it's Conor
I was trying everything to get the little stinker to smile. I finally told him Papa Bill was hiding. He got really quite & then started laughing. Maybe we'll have to take Papa with us next time. Conor was trying to throw the bear at me. Anything for a smile!

The kids were blowing the flower petals & having so much fun. I'm glad Nikki puts up with us. I really wanted a picture of Conor wearing Jacob's tux that he wore to my brother Kyle's wedding. It's so worth all the pain when you get the pictures and they're pretty stinkin cute.

What Makes It A Great Day

This week has been a difficult one. I've felt like I'm fighting a nervous breakdown. I've had a sore throat & upset stomach. I've had way to many things on my to do list. Last night Marli asked me to play the Wii with her. She looked me deep in the eyes & said "Please"!!! How could I resist that? Instead of tackling a mound of chores...I ignored everything except her. Today when she was eating her breakfast she told me how much fun she had playing with me. I knew I made the right choice. Yesterday was my day off & I wasn't home for five minutes. After volunteering in both the kids classes I had to go to the dentist. I rushed home picked Marli up took her to the dentist & did the same when Jacob got out of school. Then we had to run to the mall & a few errands. It was almost 7:00 when we finally made it home.

I've been really missing Jaxon. He is my Valentine & I really wish I could get an email or phone call from him for Valentines day. Whenever I want to feel close to him I wear red. It's always been one of my favorite colors & he loves it too. I have a very special Valentine from him that's framed on my wall. I get to see it every morning & night. I want him to know he will always be my Valentine! I just got a new Stampin Up stamp set & it's name is I {heart} Hearts! It totally makes me think of Jax. I made the cutest cards for card club & they were inspired by Jax.

The kids & I were going through their old Valentine boxes from the last few years. It's so fun to read them. The friends they made in Pre-school & Kindergarten are some of the neatest relationships. I love that we have a day dedicated to those we think of as our Valentines.
I came across this poem & thought it was pretty perfect. It's how I feel about my loved ones!

Words Aren't Enough
by: Denese H. Boyett

No words could ever tell you,
No action could express
The way I feel about you,
With you, my life is blessed.

You're the light in my tunnel.
You are my pot of gold.
You are the strength that gets me through
When despair has taken hold.

You're my once in a lifetime.
You make my life complete.
You are my blue ribbon
In the shadow of defeat.

There's nothing I could ever say,
And nothing I could do
To let you know just how much
Love is in my heart for you.

No matter what is on my list I refuse to make it more important than my family & friends. I'm so grateful I have the best kids in the world. They are so much fun & make everyday a great day. I love when we all snuggle up in my bed or on the floor. I look forward to reading with them every night. When it's so cold out we cuddle up with Hot Chocolate & have fun hiding under the blankets. I'm grateful for a warm home & a warm heart!

Miss Marli Pooh

I love having a daughter so much. I love that she loves making crafts & projects. I love that she's a total girlie girl & then in a blink of an eye she's a complete tom-boy. We were driving home the other night & she saw a Karnation Intimate apparel billboard. She asked me if the couple on the sign were from dancing with the stars. It cracked me up. I want her to stay this innocent!

We're going to a watch making class next Monday. She's so excited. I love spending time with my sweet Marli pooh! Today we were standing in the hall at church waiting to go to Primary. The other ward was coming out of class. I smiled as I watched how many kids stopped & talked to Marli. It didn't matter if they were YOUNGER or OLDER than her everyone loves her.


She's such a friendly little sweetheart! I have always dreamed of having a sister. I have felt like I really missed out by not having one. I really wanted Marli to have one as well. I'm grateful that I have always had good friends & sister-in-laws to fill in the empty space of not having a sister. I'm grateful that the older Marli gets the more we can hang out & be each others sister.


It's fun doing service projects with her & have her see how important it is to help others when a need arises. She's an amazing little girl & I'm blessed to call her my daughter!

Oh Conor!!!!

We left Conor home with Ryan while we went to church today. He was pretty upset. When we got home he continued to tell us off. Ryan & I made Pioneer Woman's Lasagna & Chocolate cream pie. Marli was picking up some food that had fallen under the table. She didn't realize she was still under the table & stood up & whacked her poor head pretty hard. Poor kid! I was downstairs giving her a hug & laying in her bed with her when Conor came in & grabbed a container of water off of Marli's nightstand & poured it on us. That kid is drawn to cups of water & spills like you can seriously NOT believe. He had just gotten in trouble ten minutes earlier fort playing with the water cooler in the kitchen. I don't know if he's ever going to learn. Little stinker!

It's Been Awhile

I know it's been quite awhile since my last post. I often think that blogging is just too much work. It drives me crazy how long it takes to upload the pictures. However if I don't document what's going on in our world every once in a while how will I ever remember. There has been so many amazing milestones in our lives lately. I guess I'll start there.






Ryan finally went back to work Thursday. He's been off of work since December 22nd. His thyroid levels are still extremely high & goes back into the doctor Monday for more tests. We were hopeful that after the radioactive isotope his thyroid would practically be dead by now. The kids have enjoyed having him home. He finally realized all that magically gets done around here & has stepped up & helped out. He's been able to volunteer in both of the kids classes. Run errands for me & even help watch the kids & clean the house. We all got used to him being home. Now we'll have to adjust to him working. His new schedule is straight days for awhile & all though I like this schedule he despises day shift. He catches the bus at 5:20 a.m. & gets home around 5:30 p.m.







I've had some health issues of my own. My eyes have a protein build up that is causing my vision to really have problems. The eye doctor explained it to me like this. The underpart of my eyelids that are next to my eyeball are extremely irritated. they are supposed to be smooth & mine have lots of tiny bumps. He prescribed a couple different drops that will hopefully clear it up. One is a prednisone steroid drop that is like putting drops of milk in your eye which is extremely gross & leaves a nasty metallic taste in my mouth. I've also been diagnosed with TMD which is formerly known as TMJ. The pain is unbelievable & I'm trying to resolve it with the suggestions I've been given. I'm going to a Brave girls retreat in May. It's going to a awesome Birthday present. I've set a health goal to be in shape by then. I've been trying to exercise everyday & eat healthy. I've made a weight loss goal & am trying everyday to do my best to get to my goal. I've noticed I've been sleeping better & my attitude has improved. I hate to exercise & don;t think I'll ever love to. I just suffer through it & hope my body will thank me for it.








Jacob is reading like crazy. It's so exciting. We read together every night & I had no idea how awesome it would be when the light finally goes on & your child takes off with reading. He's loving 1st grade. I go to the school every Tuesday & volunteer in his class. It's the highlight of my week for sure. Jacob is now in Sr. primary which I had a hard time with. I teach the 4 yr olds & loved sitting across the room from Jacob & seeing him in opening exercises. He's doing well with his new teachers & not being in Jr primary with me & Marli. He's such a strong positive influence on all of us. I am so grateful to have him in our family. He talks about getting baptised this year. We pray daily that Ryan will have the desire to be the one to baptise him.








Marli is our social butterfly. We always have a bunch of little girls over at our house or she's at a friends. She's starting to read & doing extremely well in school. She's quite the artist. She's always making a project. She helps me with Conor all the time. They are best friends. Marli's always asking for a snack...even if we just ate. Ryan & my Dad often tease her that she she has a hollow leg & is going to be as big as a house if she continues eating like a horse.

Conor is by far our most independent child. He doesn't like not being able to do things his way. It's often a battle with him to get him to see your point of view. He loves drinking out of a big cup (and often makes messes). He loves treats & playing in Marli's room. When I'm tired Conor will often get his favorite blanket which is a white & light blue Winnie the pooh blanket I made for Jacob when he was a baby. Along with his favorite baby & cars & trucks & come & lay with me. He sits & plays. I love it when he does this. He doesn't sit & watch movies like the other kids did when they were little. He's a busy little boy.






The kids just had some Valentine pictures done. I'll upload them as soon as I get them.

Quick Update

What a difference a year makes!
I was watching old home movies the other night & could not believe in the last year how much the kids have changed! They are able to do so many more things & are just so grown up.

Today Marli, Conor & I were driving in the car. We were listening to the Primary Music cd our ward gave us. Marli asked me "Mom, Do you know why I absolutely love these songs?" I said because they help you feel the spirit? She said "Yeah and because they are just so kind"! I thought that was pretty special. Marli is loving Kindergarten & has way more friends Than Jacob & me put together. She always has a friend over. She loves Primary & singing. Her teachers tell us she's amazing. She has an incredible memory & loves to draw.

Monday the 21st was Jacob's B-day #7. It's been an incredible journey the last seven years. Marli & I took 30 goodie bags to the school at 2:00. Jake was out at recess. Marli had the camera and took some really great pictures. We went out on the playground & found Jacob. It was so fun to see him playing with his friends. Jake asked for a Big Boy Birthday party this year. I asked him what that meant to him. He asked to have friends from school & church come to his party. I thought it would be better to have it on Tuesday my day off and also not FHE. I planned a really fun party. We had our friends the Marley's come over & about 10 kids. We had pizza, rootbeer, games, prizes & of course cake & ice cream.

Conor has been really growing up lately. I can see him turning into a big boy right before my eyes. Ryan's parents came over on Jacob's b-day. We made homemade pizza & hung out with them. I asked Conor to give Grandma Lyn a hug...he walked right over & hugged her so sweet. We were all a little surprised because it had been awhile since he had seen her. Then I asked him to give Grandpa Reuel a hug. He walked right over & hugged him. I was so proud of him. He's been riding the big wheels lately. He scares me how he flies down our steep driveway. At the very last second before he goes in the street he cranks the handle & turns. He laughs so hard every time. Monday he was running down the driveway & biffed it pretty bad. He landed on the palms of his hands & his little nose. Yesterday he was at my Dad's while I was at work. I guess he tripped & fell. He hit the side of his head & cheek on the edge of one of their in tables. He's got a pretty good bump & black & blue mark. Poor kid. He is 100% boy & goes mock 90 all day. When it's time for bed he laughs & is so happy when I tuck him in. He loves his Blue & white Winnie the Pooh blanket. He wants to have it with him all the time. When it's time to wash it he stands in front of the washer & tells me about it. "I want it he says" He cries for a minute until we go find some big trucks. He is absolutely obsessed with my parents new Jeep. He loves to go for rides in Papa's jeep. My parents bought him a black jeep to play with. When he walks in their house he goes over to where he left it & tells them to get it for him to play with. He's starting to really try to communicate with us & say more words. I can not believe he's going to be two soon. He had a blast at Jacob's party swinging on the big swings with his buddy Porter.

Work is going really well. I'm grateful we have all been healthy & getting used to the busy schedule we have. Ryan got a new glucose monitor that reads his blood sugar all the time. After several near death experiences...we are finally getting his diabetes under control. That in itself is a huge blessing.

Ryan took a vacation day today & went on a Harley ride with some friends. When he gets back he's going to watch some cage fights in Pocatello. My friend Linda is coming over tonight & we're going to watch a movie & make cards. Fun times!

Trials

Today is always a hard day for our family. I can not believe it was seven years ago today that our sweet son Jaxon graduated from this mortal life with the highest honors. We love you so much Jax & miss you like crazy. I'm grateful for the three wonderful years we had you as our son. I'm grateful for all the memories you gave us.

I have the worst migraine today & have been throwing up. It took everything I had to get the kids ready for school. I didn't have a choice & had to go into work for five hours. My boss did some acupuncture on me & was able to really adjust my neck. It helped a lot. I had to go into the school & talk to Jacob's teacher. She is such a wonderful teacher & she asked me to come in on Tuesdays to help her. I'm looking forward to being in the classroom with Jacob & his classmates. We took Jacob into to get his allergy shot. Which we have to do every Tuesday & Thursday. We came home & read & played a couple games. I made clam chowder soup for dinner & garlic bread. I was surprised that everyone liked dinner so much.

I have been receiving a lot of calls & emails lately from friends on family members that are really having some major trials right now. Loosing loved ones suddenly & seeing others suffer with illness's or other trials. I'm not sure why it seems like everyone is suffering greatly. All I know is that through personal trials I have learned this: Adversity is not a punishment, but rather a blessing, for it is through adversity that the Lord blesses us with strength. It seemed like for the longest time we felt we were being punished for something. I know the Lord has blessed me with incredible strength to endure what is asked of me. I have found myself pleading with the Lord numerous times a day lately for those I love. I'm thankful for the gift of prayer.

New Moon Countdown Official Poster

The Reason

Saw this today & it brought tears to my eyes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkKRYbBcUtM&feature=email

Family Pictures

August 13th was Ryan & My 15th wedding anniversary. I told him all I wanted was new family pictures. My brother Kyle & his wife Lesley & their little girl Ella were up from Provo visiting. Lesley has taken our pictures before & does a fantastic job. I asked her if she would find a spot for a photoshoot & take our pictures. We had lunch with all my family at Iggy's.Ryan suprised me with 15 long stem gorgeous pink & red roses. Then we went and saw Angels & Demons. Good movie. Then we went & picked the kids up from my parents & changed our clothes for pictures. We met Kyle & Lesley down by the river & she did a great job at getting natural pictures of us.














I love photography & wish I could take such great pictures. Thanks Lesley for such a fun painless time. I think they all turned out super good.

Saturday the 16th was family day at Ryan's work NRF. We got to go out to the desert/site & see where he works. Ryans parents went with us. My parents kept Conor. It was a lot of fun. The kids got to shoot targets with a fire hose. We got to see alot of things that are always so top secret & confidential. It was a really neat experience. My parents kept all three kids & Ry took me out to dinner at the Outback. We don't get to go on alone dates very often. I usually feel guilty that we should take one of the kids so we can have one on one time with them. Not this time though. It was a fun date.

The kids are all ready for school to start on Monday the 31st. I'm not ready to have Jakey gone all day. I like having a routine, but I don't like all the comittments that go along with it.

Tommorow is Jaxon's B-day he would be 10. We we're going to go to Lagoon with Kyle & Lesley. However my Dad's older brother Jack passed away yesterday. We will be going up to Butte in the morning. His viewing is tomm. night,then the funeral is saturday. My brother Brandon is coming from CouerD'alene. It will be good to see him. It's weird to me that Jack's first wife Thelma passed away a couple days short of exactly a year after Jaxon. Her funeral was on the same exact day as his was a year later. Now Jack is having his viewing on Jaxon's b-day.

We have had a healthy & happy summer other than this week. I'm grateful we've got to spend a lot of time with family & friends.

Two Months

How can it be possible that two entire months have gone by & I have not documented a single thing. Ok I'll try to do a update of what we've been up to. We got new phones in our house. Jakey loves to answer the phone & he loves to use the intercom & talk to me. He loves to talk on the phone more than I do which is a lot!


Most recently we took a trip to Boise with all of Ryan's family. We were able to hang out & spend some quality time together. My kids are so blessed to have so many wonderful Aunts, Uncles & cousins. One of my fave parts of our trip was when we were all out on these paddleboats at Julia Davis park. My sister-in-Law Kim saw a red dragonfly. She told me about it & I felt so happy that she saw it. Ry and I saw it & smiled. Red is one of Jaxon's favorite colors & dragonflies are definately his thing.It only seems right that all of us were out there on the river & having fun as a family when we saw it. I believe dragonflies are how angels can be seen on earth.

Holding on & trying to let go

Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to. Unknown

I know it's been a long time since I've updated this blog. We've been busy enjoying our time as a family. I saw this quote today & it really made me stop & think. I've been watching so many people I love endure so many awful trials. Loosing loved ones, loosing their jobs, loosing their homes, loosing their security & peace of mind. I know that what I've been asked to endure this far in life has at times shaken my very foundation. We have went through some serious dark times. We have suffered financial hardship as well as the loss of the most important blessing we have ever enjoyed...the loss of our beautiful son Jaxon.

Last night when we said our family prayers & I tucked the kid's in I took a moment to thank my Father in heaven that right now right this moment Life is Good. Jakey & Marli are growing up way too fast & I wish I could push pause & just snuggle with them & enjoy them right now. Life is what we make it & right now I am choosing to make it the best for all who are around me. I'm grateful for the 4th of July. We live in the Best country in the world. We enjoy our freedom & our families. There is no greater joy than that of living in the moment. I am really enjoying life & being my kids mom!



Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. Eddie Cantor
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss


Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different. Stacey Charter


Look at your past. Your past has determined where you are at this moment. What you do today will determine where you are tomorrow. Are you moving forward or standing still?
You don't get to choose how you are going to die. Or when.
You can only decide how you are going to live. Now. Joan Baez


We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

These are some of my favorite quotes. I'm grateful for the trials I have been given. I'm grateful for the strength my Heavenly Father has blessed me with to endure my trials. I'm grateful that my eternal companion has been with me holding my hand & cheering me on the entire path we have walked. Sometimes it seems we didn't have the ability to walk & we carried one another. That is what family is for though. We are here to help our loved ones any way we can. All in all at the end of the day all that is important is our loved ones.