Visiting Teaching

Today was a hectic day. It's amazing how many things get scheduled on my day off. I went Visiting Teaching bright and early. It was my turn to make the appointments. So my partner Kristy gave the message. She choose the conference talk by Bonnie D. Parkin recently released Relief Society General President Gratitude: A path to happiness


I couldn't get the link to work so if you have time please check it out. It was really interesting how this talk was written with me in mind. I'm thankful for this wonderful sister that was inspired to share this message. I'd like to share a small part of it.

Gratitude is a spirit filled principal. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God.

Gratitude In Tribulations: Hidden Blessings
In 1832 the Lord saw the need to prepare the church for coming tribulation.
Tribulations are frightening. And yet the Lord said "Be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The Kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours and the riches of eternity are yours".

President David O. McKay observed "We find in the bitter chill of adversity the real test of our gratitude....,which, goes beneath the surface of life, whether sad or joyous".

When was the last time you thanked the Lord for a trial or tribulation? Adversity compels us to go to our knees; does gratitude for adversity do that as well?
D&C 78:18-19 "And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be glorious"

As my partner was sharing the message I started to sob. It hit me so hard. I am in the middle of a trial and I find myself thinking I know better than what the Lord does of what is best for me and my family. Not true. I know he sees the big picture and I only see a small part. I have found myself thinking back on when Ryan and I really wanted a family and it took 5 years to have Jaxon. I remember how much I longed to be a mother. Being pregnant this time has really brought me to my knees pleading with the Lord. I feel guilty for thinking these thoughts but I know now that it was necessary for me to so I could move forward....I told the Lord I didn't want this baby I only ever wanted Jaxon to be healed. How can I love this baby when my heart is still broken in a million pieces. How could he ask me to mother this child when other family members have longed for their turn to be parents? I found myself in humble prayer on my knees today thanking my Heavenly Father for this trial. I told him how sorry I was for being selfish and for not believing that he knew what was best for me. I have always put my trust in the Lord. I have always said it's in your hands. I will do whatever you ask of me. I now know that he inspired my visiting teaching partner to pick this message to help me. She told me she thought of me the entire time she read the message and she knew it was what I needed. Funny how she's not my Visiting teacher, yet she was there to be the Lord's instrument. I am thankful for the visiting teaching program. Some months are harder than others to go out and get it done. I have a testimony of how vital sisterhood is and just like this experience helped me more than I could have ever been helped alone. I know we are where we are with a higher purpose in mind.